The Amygdala Causes Us to Go “Offline”
I’m teaching an upcoming Heal Your Heart Online Retreat. See below to register.
Our Significant Other Triggers Us More Than Others
Positive Intelligence Allows Us to Take Back Control
A Part of You Isn’t Bothered At All
3 Ways Increasing Positive Intelligince Helps Divorce Recovery
1) Positive Intelligence helps us to reframe the divorce in a more positive light
When seeing the world through the eyes of our Higher Self, what if we could view the divorce experience as:
- My ex helped me to understand myself better and to grow as a person. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if they hadn’t reflected back to me MY patterns and habits.
- My time with my ex was not wasted. It was meant to be, and it’s not shameful that our feelings for one another changed over time.
- We created some beautiful children and/or memories together that have added so much richness to my life.
- I have no regrets because every stepping stone that led up to the divorce and every stone thereafter is part of an intricate maze I call my life.
The Ancient Parable of the Farmer–Good, Bad, Who’s to Say?
There once was a man who lived on a farm with his son and his horse.
A few days later, the farmer’s horse returned, and following it were two more horses.
The villagers were so excited for the farmer’s luck, they ran to his farm and told him so.
The new horses were not broken in, so the farmer’s son worked hard to break them in so they could be used on the farm.
While doing so, one of the new horses threw him off and his leg was broken.
As the son was healing from his broken leg, a war broke out in the countryside.
All the young men were sent to fight. Many died or were seriously injured. However, since the farmer’s son had a broken leg, he was not able to go. The villagers again came to the farm, to say to the farmer how very lucky he was that his son didn’t have to go fight in the war.
2) Positive Intelligence encourages us to see our ex-spouse through the eyes of compassion
- I loved them at one point in time, and I know they have done their best, given their life experiences and beliefs. This wasn’t personal, even if THEY think it is.
- Even though they have done and said some challenging things, I remember that hurting people hurt others. Their reactions are about THEM, not me. If they could have healed their hurt, they would have responded differently.
- I refuse to assume I know how my ex feels. I will not project my hurt and pain onto their experience.
3) Positive Intelligence helps us to move on and focus on the future we want to create
- I have my whole future in front of me, and as long as I’m loyal to myself, and never give up on me, I will be fine. Everything will be OK.
- By living in the present moment, I don’t worry about my past or future but stay grounded in the now.
- Typically, the present moment is OK, even if I’m in pain, physical or emotional, if I don’t attach a story of suffering.