Are you looking for a savior, someone to tell you how to live,
how to think, how to feel? I suppose many of us are looking for
Thinking is hard work, and even when we do our best thinking,
it can lead us to running in circles. The reason is that the mind
over-complicates matters. The best solutions are simple and come
from the heart.
I’ve been life coaching for 13 years, and I’ve explored all sorts
of techniques, mostly involving the emotions, energy and mind.
These techniques are coming out of the wood work lately as people
I wish the answers to our problems were found in a simple tool or
technique (there are some great ones like tapping), but they aren’t.
There is no one size fits all solution for each problem or person.
As a coach, it’s tempting for me to keep learning more techniques
to add to my repertoire to help women like you.
Most anything will work if only we decide we want to transform,
leave behind the training wheels of our EGO antics, to have the
courage to venture away from the shoreline, the shoreline being the known,
the safe, the prior-to experienced, and that is often pain/suffering.
You heard that right. The secret to transformation is the willingness
to change, to admit that how we’ve been doing things is no longer
working, and to be open to a new way of being in the world.
Your EGO has no interest in you changing, zero, nada, because
change to the EGO is death, and this could be something as simple
as gargling with a new mouth wash.
So how do you get over the EGO hump? Oftentimes it takes a big
blow to wake us up and shift us out of our stupor, a painful event like the
loss of a loved one, loss of a job, a pandemic, etc.
Minus the traumatic event, you’ll want to stir up a fairly strong desire
to feel a certain way, a desire strong enough to lead you out of the
quick sand of your comfort zone.
Becky Saves Her Marriage…But Then What?
A client we’ll name Becky was wanting to leave a long-term marriage
because she felt dissatisfied, bored and critical of her partner. She knew
he was a decent man, stable and honest, and a part of her didn’t really
want to leave. This situation created much inner turmoil, intense enough
for her to seek coaching.
After a few months of healing her own heart and doing the inner work
to shift her perception, the emergency was over. She decided to stay
in the marriage. Yet she still had little connection and intimacy with
him, which was her norm. She stopped engaging in the inner work
like she had before when she was in so much pain.
It took her a few months before she could muster up the desire to go
deeper because the big trauma of divorce possibility had passed. You
could say she had to fabricate the willingness to further change, going
from a reactive to a proactive state of transformation.
It took more energy because her EGO didn’t want any more change.
Having intimacy and true connection with her husband was very
Good news is that Becky is slowly building a new foundation with her
husband, based on healthy, vulnerable communication.
As a child, she never had a role model who taught her how to relate
in this way. She learned to shut down her emotions, not to feel, but
to self-protect. She is learning as an adult how to open her heart and
receive and give love.
If I knew how to create willingness and put it in a bottle, I’d be a
YOU have to create your own willingness, desire and open-ness to
change. Getting started is the hardest part, and once you decide you
really are ready to leave the shore of the unknown, it all gets much
I would like to talk with you and see if you’re ready to begin living
a more fully alive life, where authentic connection and healthy
relationships are the foundation.
It’s not easy, but it is simple.
Please check out my calendar to schedule a Loving Self-Advocate
discovery session. I am here to support you.