Do you feel super busy all of the time but with little inner peace, or do you feel super inactive, procrastinating on things you know would move you forward?
This blog describes the ninth of nine attributes of a Loving Self-Advocate (LSA), this one being in the mental/spiritual realm. A LSA is a woman who is holistically balanced, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. She knows her worth and how to get her needs met in a healthy way.
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Need a Recap of the First 8 Attributes?
To read more about the other attributes, see below. Learn how to move away from the extremes and move towards a holistic, balanced path.
First attribute, Balanced Self-Discipline
Second attribute, Prosperity Mindset
Third attribute, Balanced & Organized
Fourth attribute, Humble & Kind
Fifth attribute, Taking Responsibility in a Healthy Way
Sixth attribute, Honoring Your Truth
Seventh Attribute, Honoring Your Worth
Eighth Attribute, Showing Your Love
Attribute #9 of a Loving Self Advocate – Taking Balanced, Creative Action
Have you ever had the thought, “I try SO hard. I check all the boxes on what I should be doing to be successful, and yet I’m not. Or if I am, I’m not happy or fulfilled. What’s wrong with me?”
Or have you felt, “I’m lazy. I am not motivated to be successful, and I don’t know why. I like the IDEA of being happy and successful, but my actions sure don’t show it.”
Both ways of being feel like a struggle, treading up a steep hill with a thousand pound bag of bricks across your back.
Both lifestyles dampen your connection to the Unknown, leaving you feeling unsupported and unmoored. This pessimistic view in your bones that something feels “off” affects your ability to take creative action.
The effort feels hard, imbalanced between your exertion and your reward.. Your life feels like all work and no play if you have a workaholic tendency. Or it feels like all play but little joy, because you’re letting yourself down by under-performing.
Why Care About Taking Balanced, Creative Action?
Not taking balanced, creative action feels like self-betrayal, like you aren’t living your best life.
Life feels like you’re living in low grade anxiety, trauma lurking below the surface at all times…because in fact it is. Hidden trauma is stored in your cells, and you know it’s there when you feel overwhelmed, heavy emotionally, sluggish. What triggers the trauma? Stress.
Staying hyper busy or not busy enough is stressful. Worse than that, you don’t even know you are stressed because stress feels normal to your body, like water feels to a fish, because you’ve gotten used to it.
Taking balanced, creative action makes you feel alive, versus reacting to life at each turn.
Option 1–Busy Quiz (checkmark the statements that resonate with you):
- I take a lot of action, but my approach is chaotic, flighty, and scattered, from how I tend to my personal affairs to how I run my business and/or career.
- I jump from one project to another without clarity or strategy,, hoping to land on the perfect formula for my life.
- I procrastinate on important priorities.
- My busyness keeps me in a low-grade state of dazed confusion and disconnection from myself, others, and my Higher Self–like a sailboat without sails.
- Without a clear focus, I’m not able to sustain a long-term, successful career or profitable business.
- My life feels like a burdensome struggle to get ahead.
- I don’t feel worthy of ease, flow or prosperity.
Do you resonate with any of the above? You probably feel like you need to slow down and take an inventory of your life. Reassess your priorities. Keep reading for tips on how to find balanced, creative action.
Option 2–Bored Quiz (checkmark the statements that resonate with you):
- I take little or no creative action because I’m afraid of taking risks and failing.
- I leak energy because I’m always “shoulding” on myself, rarely feeling satisfied..
- I feel paralyzed to take action out of fear of being criticized and judged for making mistakes.
- Since I resist taking risks and learning through mistakes, my self-growth creeps along both in my personal and career life.
- I’m always searching for that “magic bullet,” tool, or technique that will rescue me from myself.
- Perfectionism is my preferred form of self-abuse; I don’t know how else to be.
- I stagnate and feel depressed because I’m not using my natural gifts of creativity to propel me forward.
Do you resonate with any of the above? If so, you may need to build in some daily structure and discipline and begin taking small, imperfect steps toward one goal. Continue to read on for ways to rein in that wily EGO.
7 Ways to Take Balanced, Creative Action as a Loving Self Advocate
I Implement Imperfectly
I let my hair down, relax and create with passion and purpose, not the demand to be perfect. This is so much more fun!
I stay focused and take one step at a time, making slow, easy progress because I’m being patient with myself.
I Accept Past Errors in Judgment
I drain the dirty water and get fresh, a/k/a forgive myself. I am always OK. Making an error in judgment does not mean that I am bad, wrong, or a mistake.
I Am Self Aware
I realize that not everyone feels the same way that I do about my passion for (health, finances, business, relationships, etc.). I stay sufficiently grounded to effectively communicate my passion without turning others off.
I write down my feelings daily to stay in touch with my inner state as it dictates everything.
I Seek Excellence
I seek excellence in those things that matter most to me. This is not the same as perfectionism which is fear-motivated. It means I bring my A game to things I’m already good at. I improve upon my natural gifts and talents.
I Practice Positive Self-Talk
“It’s OK. I can do this!”; “I deserve to be honored, cherished and respected. I AM worthy and enough!”; “What if I acted as if I AM enough today?”; “What if I suspended my doubts and insecurities just for today?”; “Up until now I’ve doubted myself, but more and more every day, I see my value and gifts that I bring to this world.”
To stay on this positive frequency channel, I keep a daily gratitude journal.
I Practice Self-Care
I implement a replenishing self-care routine that honors my values, grounds me, gives me space to be alone with my thoughts and feelings, and allows me to connect with my body, mind, spirit, and soul.
I meditate 5-15 minutes daily or more. I started small and worked my way up to 15 minutes of daily meditation. The main thing is that I sit or lie down and connect to my body. No perfection allowed.
I breathe deeply when stressed.
I Practice Connection to My Higher Power
Each day I pray to a Higher Power of my understanding. I ask for the willingness and the ability to let go of the need to be right and in control and to surrender to God’s will for me. I humbly realize that I’m not the one in charge here. This is God’s party, as my friend, Judy, likes to say.
By doing this, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief and just let go.
After taking the above quizzes and seeing how a Loving Self Advocate takes balanced, creative action, do you have some ideas on how to do the same? Perhaps it’s time to tell a new story about what’s been going on for you.
Coming from this new place of being a Loving Self Advocate, write down one intention that you’d like to see happen in your life that will completely upgrade your quality of life.
Pick ONE Intention or Create Your Own
- I intend to be kind to myself and others more and more every day.
- I intend to accept my body and take care of my physical environment more and more every day.
- I intend to courageously speak up about what I truly think and feel more and more every day.
- I intend to keep my heart open and intimately connect with others more and more every day.
- I intend to trust myself and others more and more every day.
- I intend to surrender my life to a Higher Power more and more every day.
- I intend to accept myself and others exactly as they are more and more every day.
- I intend to see that I am enough and adequate for the job of life more and more every day.
- I intend to give up the need to be right in lieu of being happy more and more every day.
- I intend to bravely and kindly set loving boundaries more and more every day.
- I intend to believe that I’m worthy of others being kind and loving to me more and more every day.
- I intend to believe that I fit in wherever I go more and more every day.
- I intend to create with passion and purpose.
- I intend to live with prosperity, knowing that I AM always enough!
What is One Action You Will Take to Support this Intention?
- Smile at others.
- Implement a self-care routine that feels good to you, journaling feelings, meditating, walking, etc.
- Say loving things to yourself about your body; clean a room, one drawer at a time.
- Practice speaking your truth with someone safe.
- Say to myself, “Heart, stay open. You’re safe as you are vulnerable and authentic with others.”
- Follow through on a small, self-imposed commitment to yourself to build self-trust, such as drinking 8 glasses of water daily, getting to bed ½ hour earlier, etc.
- Pray and ask your Higher Power for help. You can stand barefoot on the grass for a few minutes to ground you and help you feel connected to the Universe.
- Say this, “Even though I’ve rejected myself up until now, I’m open to accepting myself more and more every day.”
- Say this, “Even though I have believed in lack up until now, I’m choosing to know that I am enough no matter how much gets done!”
- When you want to argue and defend yourself, take a deep breath and count backwards from 5 to 1 before you say anything, reminding yourself, “I am safe!”
- Firmly and kindly say NO when you don’t want to do something, knowing that you prefer people to like you, but it’s truly not required for you to be happy.
- Offer comfort and soothing self-talk when you feel anxious, “It’s Ok. You’re Ok.”
- Offer yourself reassuring self-talk: “You have a good heart. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay, because you know and respect yourself.
- Do something that brings you joy and unleashes your creative expression, such as coloring in an adult color book, painting, going outdoors, writing, cooking something delicious, etc.
- To live with a prosperous mindset, write a gratitude journal of at least 5 things you’re grateful for every day.