Do you ever feel like you just want to run away from
yourself because the negative emotions feel like they’re
But you can’t outrun your thoughts and feelings.
They are stuck on you like super glue, and it’s as annoying
as the real deal when it gets on your finger tips and feels like
a foreign second skin that no measure of scrubbing will remove.
On these days, we feel “off.” We can’t seem to shake the bad
feeling. We need an emotional shower, but we don’t want to take it.
We’d prefer to smell our stench, a/k/a that we want to stew in self-
pity and self-loathing.
We reach for the chips and dip, nachos and salsa, cheese and
crackers, healthy gluten-free brownies with whipped topping.
Or maybe an extra few glasses of wine after dinner. Choose
your poison, your numbing agent, your addiction.
Sometimes we have no idea what triggers our upset. We just
know we feel blah.
Often these gloomy days occur after an emotionally high and
happy day, and our subconscious saboteur claims, “You don’t
deserve to feel that happy. The fall is steep to disappointment.
Better be careful.”
So we feel like being alone with our thoughts/feelings. We
don’t want to trouble anyone, after all.
I had a great past weekend that fulfilled my connection need,
unleashed my creativity and my awakened me spiritually.
The weather was gorgeous, and I meditated in the sun. I laid
in my back yard, with my bare feet on the ground and finished
reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth.
I got some cleaning done and cooked two delicious organic
meals on Saturday and Sunday, both healthy AND yummy—a meatloaf,
cauliflower mashed potatoes, and green beans almondine.
On Sunday, we had a decadent butternut squash soup, amazing
green leafy salad with cranberries, walnuts and blue cheese,
and the main entree was chicken and broccoli curry over fried
rice. For dessert my friend made a decadent gluten free brownie.
Maybe you can tell that cooking is one of the ways I unleash my
Then on Sunday night, under the Full Moon, my mom, husband,
Steve, and friend, Ruth, sat around a fire pit and did a releasing
Basically we wrote down who or what we wanted to release or
forgive and what we wanted to replace it with. It was a bonding
experience, and the full moon was gorgeous, and many stars
were out to dazzle us.
I felt one with the Universe, avowing to begin living life in the
present moment with Presence, letting go of the need to be in
such rigid control, have certain outcomes, to complain like a
child when things don’t go my way.
It’s kind of what it feels like to go back to work after a wonderful
bonding vacation with someone you love. It feels hard.
So I didn’t feel like working on Monday but just being alone. I was
searching for that feeling of unity and connection, and I couldn’t
When we feel like we need to feel happy or any positive emotion
all of the time (this is similar to having an outcome of seeking
enlightenment, being present in the moment, etc.), we know our
EGO is back in charge.
The whole point to living in the moment with Presence is to be OK
with whatever emotion, thought or behavior crops up.
What can you do when you feel unfocused, unmotivated, lazy,
lethargic, depressed, out of sorts, and you want to feel at
peace and content with life on life’s terms?
Here’s what I do:
1) Acknowledge what I’m feeling no matter the emotion.
Don’t discriminate. All emotions are acceptable.
2) Breathe deeply, remembering the present moment.
Everything is OK in this moment. The sky isn’t falling.
3) Remind myself: this thought/feeling isn’t the real me.
The EGO highjacks my emotions and pretends to be
the real ME, but it’s not.
4) This feeling will pass, rather quickly if we don’t
Try it. In a sense, this is the art of non-resistance.
What are you resisting in your life? Whatever we resists
seems to have a life of its own; it builds energy and gets
stronger the more we “need” it.
Please reply to this email and tell me how you feel and/or
comment on the FB post.
PS: Want to hop on zoom and see if we’re a good match? I’d
like to help you liberate yourself. See what time I have on
my calendar where we can deeply connect.
I want to hear from you, your deepest thoughts and feelings.
I want to see you and acknowledge you.