Characteristics Of A Hyper-Achiever
- Competitive, image and status conscious.
- Good at covering up insecurities and showing positive image.
- Adapts personality to fit what would be most impressive to the other. Goal-oriented and workaholic streak.
- More into perfecting public image than introspection.
- Can be self-promoting.
- Can keep people at safe distance.
Ellie’s Origin Story Of Hyper-Achievement
Her Dad Didn’t See Ellie
Getting 100% Changed The Trajectory Of Ellie’s Life
She aced it and was quite proud of herself. But what made her even happier was her dad’s reaction.
She’ll never forget. She was standing in the kitchen, sharing the celebration with her mom who was washing dishes. Her dad overheard the conversation and called out from the living room where he was lounging in an old brown recliner, “Really, Ell? You made 100% on an algebra test?!”
It Felt Good To Get Her Dad’s Attention
Her Hyper-Achiever was born. She didn’t learn how to connect with people. Instead, she was very concerned with her image. As long as people saw her as smart, she felt important. People certainly didn’t make her feel good as achievement did.
Thoughts Of A Hyper-Achiever
- I must be best at what I do.
- If I can’t be outstanding, I won’t bother.
- Must be efficient and effective.
- Emotions get in the way of performance.
- Focus on thinking and action.
- I can be anything I want to be.
- You are worthy as long as you are successful and others think well of you.
Feelings Of A Hyper-Achiever
- I don’t like dwelling in feelings for too long.
- They distract from achieving my goals.
- Sometimes I feel empty and depressed inside, but don’t linger there.
- Important to me to feel successful. That’s what it is all about. I feel worthy mostly when I am successful.
- Could have fear of intimacy and vulnerability. Closeness with others would allow them to see that I am not as perfect as the image I portray.
Justification Lies Of A Hyper-Achiever
- Life is about achieving and producing results.
- Portraying a good image helps me achieve results.
- Feelings are just a distraction and don’t help anything.
Impact on Self And Others Of The Hyper-Achiever
- Peace and happiness is fleeting and short-lived in brief celebrations of achievement.
- Self-acceptance is continuously conditioned on the next success.
- Lose touch with deeper feelings, deeper self, and ability to connect deeply with others.
- Others might be pulled into the performance vortex of the Hyper-Achiever and become similarly lopsided in their focus on external achievement.
Original Survival Function
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