Are you afraid being YOU will hurt your partner?
BEING YOU is defined as:
Expressing your thoughts, feelings and opinions
Asking for your needs and wants to be met
We suppress ourselves when we think being US is selfish. We
suppress ourselves when we think getting something we want
will take something away from our partner. We suppress
ourselves when we withhold our true thoughts and feelings
because we fear it will hurt them.
When I was married to my first husband, I had a guilty thought:
”I don’t want to make love to him.” I didn’t tell him this because
1) I thought it would hurt his feelings, and 2) The thought was
riddled with shame—I must be a bad, vain person who’s focused
too much on physicality.
But lack of attraction wasn’t the problem; it was lack of connection
and a deep inner shame.
I’d lost trust with him over the years due to feeling hurt by his
words and actions. The connection didn’t feel safe. So I withdrew
into my shell of shame.
Had I known how to honestly communicate, I would have expressed
these vulnerable feelings and released my resentments. And the
latter destroys a relationship. It might have saved the marriage, but
we’ll never know will we?
Morgan shares how she felt guilty when buying things for
herself or asking her husband, Jared, to help out with chores
around the house. She feared that she’d be taking something
away from him, be that time to play games, money to spend on
himself, or even his own security.
In other words, if she steps into being who she is, she will be
stepping on another’s desires. This is a scarcity mindset, which
ultimately doesn’t serve us or them. It’s obvious how it hurts us,
in preventing us from getting our needs met.
But it hurts them too because we don’t allow them to step up to
their own success, because we are being over-protective of
their happiness, arrogantly feeling like “we know best” and are
more competent than them when it comes to making life choices.
Our Tip: Stop over-protecting your partner by suppressing your
true SELF, because it’s not best for either of you or your relationship.
When you become empowered and feel safe enough to honestly
communicate your wants and needs, beliefs and feelings, you will
be brave enough to be yourself. This will deepen your connection
with your partner.
Please check out our YouTube Channel for more awesome tips
on how to bravely be YOU!