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Shutting Down Is Not The Answer To Being Broken Hearted
Our Fearful Actions Show Our Broken Heart
5 Reason To Keep Our Heart Open After Feeling Broken Hearted
1. Consciously Express, Not Suppress Pain
2. Feel The Feelings
Intense Feelings Are Like Waves
- Sit quietly with eyes closed.
- Take a deep breath in to the count of 4 and then hold it for 4 seconds.
- Exhale to the count of 7 seconds, loud enough so you can hear your breath.
- Inhale the breath and imagine delivering little peace signs to every cell of your body.
- These signs deliver the message, “You are safe to relax and breathe through the fear…”
- With the exhale, imagine the pain and sorrow exiting your body.
- Repeat 3 more times.
3. Be Aware Of Self-Worth And The Vulnerability Of Feeling Happy Again
A Part Of Us Feels We Deserve Punishment
4. Let’s Not Expect People To Become Someone They Aren’t
Do’ers Get Things Done
The Be’ers Be With Us
The Put-On-The-Shelfers Don’t Get Us
5. Let’s Not Compare Our Grief
Grief Is An Individual Journey
Our Words Hurt
Unconscious Grieving Destroys Relationships
When we feel broken hearted, it can feel like we:
- Don’t know who we are anymore.
- Avoid expressing our feelings and feeling our feelings.
- Are unsafe to open our hearts and love again because we wonder if we deserve it.
- Want people to rescue us from our pain by being the perfect listener and supporter.
- Compare our grief to others.
Being Broken Hearted Is A Great Teacher
Poem, Grief Burst, By Tara Nash
I shrivel into a fetal position wishing I could be comforted like a baby,
there are times in our lives when we physically resume to the child,
when we are sick when we are elderly and when we are grieving.
It is not words that I want in these moments, it is actions.
The embrace, the shoulder to cry on, the box of tissues
brought to me, the glass of water placed by my side,
my hair stroked, my lips kissed, the smile that tells me I am loved,
I am seen, I am okay.
I whimper and cry like a toddler in distress, my breath changes
My jaw tightens, my face contorts to explore all the unpleasant
It exhausts me, every part of me.
This deep well of pain that I do so well to contain.
Thoughts of stopping myself pierce my mind.
My thoughts scanned the earliest stages of my life.
Why bother taking life so seriously?
Stop! I need to get on! I have a schedule to attend to, I don’t have
Will it ever stop? Will it ever stop?
The roar of grief needs to be released,
Let myself feel, let myself heal.
Now that I know tears like this,
Until every last drop is squeezed out
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