You’ve probably heard the saying, “You must get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
But have you heard that you must also get comfortable with being happy? Isn’t happiness a natural state of being that all of us aspire to attain? Why should we have to get comfortable with that? The reason is that most of us do not feel worthy and deserving of happiness. I’ve experienced this myself. After my family went to Paris in July 2013, I began to think of reasons why we shouldn’t have gone, “We shouldn’t have spent so much money.
That was financially irresponsible,” etc. I was really happy in Paris and happy leading up to the time that we went. I felt abundant and good about being able to provide this opportunity for my family. The day we returned, we learned our dog, Kipper, had died. It was a real blow to my family. The message to me was (subconsciously): You see, you can’t be that happy for too long. The other shoe will drop when you let your guard down. I’m still peeling the layers of the onion to my Soul and will for the rest of my life.
I am beginning to see that I am worthy and deserving of JOY. I am seeing more glimpses of it daily. It’s still not the total Truth for me. Who am I to teach a class on abundance?
Who am I enjoy a slender body AND enjoy the richness and depths of all foods? Who am I to have loving relationships and let others really “see” me into (intimacy = in-to-me-see)? Just want you to know I’m not perfect. I still struggle. I’m afraid. I get angry at my husband, Steve, when I want him to “behave” in a way that is easier for me to accept, that leaves me more comfortable.
I beat myself up for not being further along myself. I question if I’m really a good person or if I’m selfish and self-seeking. I have my off days. I’m human just like you. Each time I peel a layer of the onion away, I have to start the painful process of rebirth over again. It may even feel like I’m backsliding.
I will go into fear and not feeling safe all over again and wonder why I am feeling that way. Hadn’t I already learned how to release fear? But NO! As I get closer to The Truth of my Soul which is LOVE, my EGO plays this entertaining game of hide and seek. Is She Love or is she just a pain in the ass? Let’s see. Will you be able to find the Real Angie today, or will she be hiding behind the clouds and allowing her Inner Critic to be in command?
I may sound like I’m nuts, but the tricks our Mind plays on us can truly leave us feeling lost and alone in one moment and exalted and connected and loved the next.
So which Reality will I listen to? Which voice will you listen to? Do you deserve to feel happy? No matter what Reality may LOOK like, I know that I do deserve to be happy. I choose to look away from the illusion of lack and fear and know that I am supported and secure in the Universe. God is on my side. This is what I’m looking for in my life today!
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