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Does life feel chaotic to you? I guess that would depend on how am I defining chaotic. Creativity in itself feels chaotic, when we’re trying to create something new out of nothingness. That’s all good and normal.

I’m defining chaotic as stagnant and stuck overwhelm.  Ever feel like you’re just not moving forward?  You list all the “things” you have to get done and it paralyzes you?

There have been times in my life when I just couldn’t create. I was so worried about getting my tasks done or paying my bills, just to survive, that I couldn’t relax.

Today I want to talk about the 9th and final attribute of a Worthy Self-Advocate (WSA)–to be creative, not chaotic. A WSA is someone who loves him or herself and others with courage, authenticity and kindness and knows h/she is enough.

Below are the two extremes of this attribute. One on extreme, we take all sorts of action but there is little movement forward. On the other extreme, we take little action and little movement forward. Both come from places of insecurity.

One Extreme:  I take a lot of action, but my approach is chaotic, flighty, and scattered,  from how I tend to my personal housekeeping and affairs to how I run my business and career.
a. I jump from one project to another without much clarity or focus, hoping to land on the perfect formula for my life.
b. I procrastinate to prevent clarity, and this normal state of confusion keeps me stuck.
c. Without focus, I can’t sustain a long-term profitable business, and my efforts feel that much more difficult.
d. I don’t feel worthy of wealth and ease.

Other Extreme:  I take little or no creative action because I’m afraid of taking risks.
a. I feel paralyzed to take action out of fear of messing up, being criticized and judged for making mistakes.
b. Since I won’t take risks and make mistakes, I don’t improve and can’t grow as a person or my business. Perfectionism is a form of self-abuse.
c. I stagnate and feel depressed because I’m not using my natural gifts of creativity to propel me forward.

Worthy Self-Advocate Behaviors:
a. I do my best to take actions to move me forward (implementing imperfectly), and I welcome mistakes because that means I’m learning and improving. Having errors in judgment is a normal process of life and part of the creative process; it doesn’t mean that I am bad or wrong or a mistake myself.
b. I let my hair down, relax and create with passion and purpose, not the demand to be perfect.
c. I stay sufficiently grounded to effectively communicate my passion without turning others off.
d. I seek excellence in those things that matter most to me.
e. I stay focused and take one step at a time, making slow, easy progress because I’m being patient with myself.
f. I am a Worthy Self-Advocate through my self-talk.
i. “It’s OK. I can do this!”
ii. “I deserve to be honored, cherished and respected. I AM worthy and enough!”
iii. “What if I acted as if I AM enough today?”
iv.”What if I suspended my doubts and insecurities just for today?”
v. “Up until now I’ve doubted myself, but more and more every day, I see my value and gifts that I bring to this world.”
g. I implement a replenishing self-care routine that honors my values, grounds me, gives me space to be alone with my thoughts and feelings, and connect with my body, mind, spirit and soul.
i. I meditate 1-15 minutes daily or more.
ii. I journal how I feel.
iii. I keep a gratitude journal daily.
iv. I breathe deeply when stressed.
v. I ask for the willingness to let go of the need to be right and in control.
vi.  I ask God or Higher Power for help.

I invite you to explore this aspect of your life. If you want peaceful productivity, then you’ll want to relax AND temper that with discipline.

Remember this is just a direction to move in.  I’ve certainly not arrived at any perfect destination with this.  We are an evolving work in progress. Life itself is a creative process and mystery.

If you’d like to create a way of being in which you show up as a Worthy Self-Advocate, please consider coming to the next Frontier to Freedom workshop on September 13th (always the 2nd Thursday).


Angie Monko