Register below for my free, upcoming, online class.
Divorce Is Hard
Shame Can Take Two Directions
- We place the blame mostly on our spouse because to take personal responsibility feels too harsh and painful. We may think, “It’s their narcissistic, abusive, gaslighting tendencies that are to blame for the demise of this marriage.” And I’m not saying that these accusations aren’t justified. But…there is also something about US that contributed to the way in which we related to this person and has to do with why we chose them in the first place.
- We may place all of the blame on ourselves and think we are so pitiful and the divorce is all of our fault. Intense feelings of shame occur: “What is wrong with me? Why did they leave me?”, “I’m such a loser that I had the affair. I lost the only good thing in my life”, and “I am so selfish that all I think about is ME.” And on and on these self-recriminating thoughts go.
Why IS The Marriage Dissolving?
- Did I feel safe to be myself in this marriage, or was I constantly hiding my true thoughts and feelings?
- Did I ask for my needs to be met, or did I allow myself to be a doormat?
- Was I regularly playing the peacekeeper, being the sacrificial martyr?
- Did I regularly take over-responsibility for my spouse and kids?
- Did I try to control things excessively and felt anxious when things didn’t go as I planned?
MY Story of Shame Through Divorce and its Long-Term Impact
HOW The Shame Began
My Victim and Controller Contribute to the Shame
My Slave Master
My Poor Me
My Higher Self
Everyone Has a Saboteur and Feels Shame
What if We Could Escape the Shame/Blame Game
Register below for the upcoming “3 Secrets to Survive the Stress of Divorce: Helping Women Get Their Lives Back!”