Summer vacation is almost over for the kids…school resumes this Monday for my girls. They aren’t ready to get up at 5:30am, as they have been staying awake until the wee hours of the night. Oh well, the cycle of life continues. Last night, I asked my husband, Steve, if he would change the sheets this morning, and he gave me some push back. I immediately thought how I was asking a simple thing of him, and that I had enough on my plate already. I also resented him a little. He says I delegate too easily and then he feels resentful. It’s true, I’ve had a LOT on my plate lately with running a growing business, a household and family of four, taking care of myself, etc.
In fact, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had as much time for him. What is more, he’s in a stressful situation at his job that is keeping him on edge. I realize that because of the stress, he’s not been as cheerful as normal. It would be easy for me to start to tally up how much I do versus how much he does, and I did start to go there. But I caught myself. I decided not to resist his negative emotion and not to engage it.
I thought of Steve and remembered who he is at his best and how kind he normally is. I decided to have compassion for him and just let it go. He forgot to change the sheets this morning but not intentionally. He said he’d do it tomorrow, and it feels much better to me when I’m not attached to the outcome.
Are you keeping track with your spouse? If it feels bad, try a different approach, and I think you’ll find you get a lot more cooperation. I know I do. Steve does a lot to help our family, and I do too. I feel it’s an equitable partnership.
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