“Sit up straight, Angela! Make that horse listen to you.
You’re the boss—not him!”
“I’ll pay you $500 if you make straight A’s, no A minuses.”
These words came from my dad who had been a Green Beret
in the U.S. Marines. He meant well. He wanted me to excel in
life, have a strong work ethic.
The problem is that I was only 3 years old when he was teaching
me to ride Tom, the quarter horse. I was in 8th grade when he
challenged me to make perfect grades.
At three, I didn’t understand his good intentions. I simply
felt the impatience, the anger when I’d make a mistake.
He wasn’t mad at me, but it seemed that way.
I Was Afraid to Play Sports & Games
This created a performance anxiety within me. I was afraid
to participate in sports, play games, or do anything where
I didn’t KNOW the answer and might look stupid.
I also grew up with a lot of shame, guilt and low self-worth.
I always felt like my efforts were not good enough.
For labeling purposes, I’m referring to this as the Critical
Parenting Style.
We Dismiss Our Children’s Feelings
Often parents who resonate with this style can also be
called a “hard ass.” They tend to minimize their children’s
feelings because they had to be tough and push through
things. They were probably told not to be a cry baby.
They parent in this way because they were taught to
value a hard core approach to life—sort of like the Green
Beret. Push, push, push.
I definitely have this parenting style to an extent, because
I can be critical of others and myself. I can push myself
real hard in life, business, health, etc.
I’ve switched my approach because I don’t want to treat
myself like that. I deserve to be kinder and gentler to me
AND to others.
I am not judging you if this is your predominant parenting
style. It’s okay.
Listen to Your Children
I am inviting you to consider that it may not be producing
the result or having the impact you want . When we criticize
others, they tend to want to distance themselves from us.
We disconnect.
What can you do? Listen to your children, even if you don’t
agree with their stance on things or understand where they’re
coming from.
Morgan Higdon, fellow hypnotist, colleague, and dear
friend, will be teaching a FREE, online masterclass on Wed,
7/24 in which we’ll delve into the 3 parenting styles that
interfere with closeness and connection with our kids.
There is no worse feeling than to run out of time and have
a lot of “shoulds.” I wish I would have listened more, taken
more time, been more available, been less critical.
Become the Compassionate Parent
We will offer another way, which invites connection so that
at the end of our lives, we will be able to say that we lived
fully and without regret.
This is the way of Becoming the Compassionate Parent.
When you register for the masterclass, “How You Can Quickly
Create Closeness and Connection With Your Kids and Relieve
Mom Guilt and Overwhelm!” you’ll receive a one page cheat sheet,
”Becoming the Compassionate Parent.”
Your time is valuable. To take an hour of your time could be
spent in many ways. Why show up?
Morgan and I are confident that if you begin to apply the
simple suggestions in the cheat sheet, you’ll begin to create
connection with the most precious people in your life—
your kids.
It may be simple, but it’s not easy. That’s why we created
the master class, to dive deeper and answer your questions.
See you there!
With love and respect,
Angie
