Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to say
I want ____ or I don’t want ______?
What makes those words feel so vulnerable to verbalize?
They reveal what you truly think and feel. They have
you claim your own your desires. Those words don’t
allow you to blame or make excuses for your wishes.
So what, you may ask? We often have a very difficult
time with WANTING things, like time alone to do self-
care, to do creative activities like painting or drawing,
reading, watching a movie, indulgences like massage or
facials, and on and on.
Anything that resembles you taking time for you can dredge
up feelings of guilt, guilt that you should be spending
your time and resources on your kids, spouse or just
anyone or anything else besides you.
It can bring up feelings of shame. Shame won’t be an
overt thought that says, “I’m not worth spending time or
money on myself.”
No, rather, it is more subtle: “I don’t have time for this.
I need to take Billy to soccer practice. Susie needs
for me to help her with her homework. And John expects
me to have dinner by 6pm.”
To find shame, look for how you are spending your time.
Does it allow time for you to slow down, be with your thoughts
and feelings, process them, journal them?
Does your life allow for you to take time for fun and joyful
activities? Or do you center all of your attention on others?
At first glance this can seem like a kind gesture, to always
be giving to others, because we truly like to help others.
But it’s not so kind when we are tired and worn out. It’s easy
for resentment to slip into our energy field when we are
So I highly encourage you to get acquainted with “I want or
I don’t want” language. It will be well worth your effort.
If you would like help with this, Morgan and I are hosting
a FREE, two day, live, online women’s retreat on January 22
and 23, 2021, “Let Go of What They Think.” Register here.
We normally charge $997 for the kind of support and coaching
you’ll get from this retreat, but we are making it free to express
immense value and generosity.
Register here. We will spend one entire section of the two days,
helping you with the exact words to say to express what you truly
want, think and feel. It is invaluable as it will up-level your connection
with others, your happiness and freedom to be yourself.
Angie & Morgan