It’s the start of a new year—welcome to 2022!
While it’s winter and very cold in many regions of the world
right now, it’s a good time to go within, to reflect on the things
that really matter to you, like the relationship with yourself
Are you consciously living your best life—what does that even
mean to you? Does it mean treating yourself with the utmost respect,
no matter your past? Does it mean feeding your body optimal
nutrition and water, minimizing your intake of toxins?
Does it mean being with more and more people who bring
out the best in you because you’re being kind to yourself in
thought, word and deed?
Does it mean getting a hold of your addictions, whether they be
food, alcohol, drugs, porn, etc., or perhaps a less obvious addiction
of the mind/heart like workaholism, perfectionism, the need to stay
busy all of the time, etc.?
Whatever it is you believe you need to do to be better today
than yesterday, I’d like to home in on relationships, namely
the one with your spouse.
I invite you to come along with me for the month of
January to dive deeper into your heart, to explore this most
important spousal relationship. After all, this is the month
of new beginnings.
The topic for this month is Considering Divorce. I’m not
encouraging divorce, but sometimes in our lives we realize
we need a wake-up call in our marriage, to shake things up and
do them differently.
Perhaps what you really need is to “divorce” a way of being or
relating to your spouse so that you can strengthen your
marriage, have better intimacy and connection.
Or you may realize upon reflection that the marriage isn’t
going to work out for a myriad of reasons.
You no longer value the same things.
You have lost respect for this person.
You believe they treat you worse than you treat yourself.
Have you ever really thought about the WHY in your marriage?
Think back to when you first got married.
WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED? Was it because….
You’d been dating so long that it was the next logical conclusion
so you could “morally” have kids?
You were pregnant?
You were in love and wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
The marriage was arranged or at least highly encouraged by your parents?
You were looking for financial security, someone to take care of you?
What was your WHY? If you’re not sure, that’s OK, but think about it
some more. Sit with it awhile. Give yourself an hour when you won’t be
disturbed to really reflect upon this question.
WHY DO YOU STAY?
Another deep question. Again, I’m not trying to convince you to leave. I want
you to establish a new WHY in your relationship, one that makes sense for
both of you. A meaningful WHY will give you a solid foundation, a lighthouse
of sorts to lead you back to shore when you feel like you are flailing.
Here are some ideas:
I love him/her and I’m committed “for better or worse.”
I see our marriage as a partnership in which we are meant to
mirror our struggles to one another so we can grow and develop.
I know their essence and I stay true to that no matter what.
We are soul mates and meant to do this life thing together.
My top value is family and I am committed to raising our children
together so they can be productive, loving citizens.
There is no wrong WHY. It’s yours. Personally, my WHY with my
husband, Steve, is the second one. We are partners on a path of helping
each other grow and develop, and though it can be rough at times, I
deeply love him and want to stay the course. WE are worth the effort.
If you’re having a hard time establishing this WHY, that’s OK.
You don’t have to answer this today. Write down the questions and
come back to them later this week. But do come back to them.
Would you like to talk to me about these insights you’re discovering
about yourself? How can you make 2022 your best year ever, with
you personally developing and expanding your consciousness to
the point where you feel confident in who you are, what you stand
for, and where you’re heading?
When you become this solid role model for yourself, ALL of
your relationships improve. And for the unhealthy ones, at the very
least you gain clarity so you can either move on or uplevel them to
being healthy and happy.
Schedule time with me now. I’m ready for you. Are you ready
to receive support like you’ve never gotten before?
Guiding Women to a Brighter Future After Divorce or Loss,