I can now say that I DO champion for myself–most of the time. I give myself the benefit of the doubt when things go sideways.
I really believe that I deserve to feel good and happy and enjoy this experience of life.
So when I notice that I’m feeling funky, down, fearful, angry, insecure, etc., I will use meridian tapping to calm myself.
Typically I don’t allow myself to sit in these “negative” feelings too long. I accept them, accept myself and move on.
This practice has taken years to adopt. I’ll never get it perfect. The Angie character has been feeling very vulnerable and sad.
She is very attached to her daughter, Maddie (22), who is experiencing pneumonia in the ICU at Barnes Jewish Hospital.
Maddie has cystic fibrosis, a genetic disease that progressively worsens as scar tissue on the lungs builds up and the digestive system doesn’t absorb nutrients.
Lately I’ve been having a lot of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings about what my life would be like without her.
Also, I realize I am still holding onto guilt about decisions I made when she was a small child. I gave her dad custody when she almost two. I immediately regretted the decision. I felt so weak for having done this.
Currently, I’ve had thoughts that my actions have caused her to have low self-esteem. I’ve tried to rescue her for years and find solutions to her CF, most of which she didn’t want.
So she has interpreted this to mean that I don’t accept her for who she is and for her choices. She is partly right. The stakes seem so high, after all.
So what does this have to do with YOU championing for yourself?
I want to demonstrate to you that even through the most “awful” of times that you can advocate for yourself.
The way I’m doing this is by noticing what I feel and tapping to bring myself into a mental and emotional state of….. Of what exactly?
I can’t say I’m feeling at peace about Maddie right now. But I CAN function and still be of service to others and not let my fears over-take me. It helps me to stay in the moment more often with what is currently happening.
My mind still wanders into the future with worry and fear of being lonely without her. It still has me question whether I can hope and desire for her well-being without being even more hurt and disappointed if things don’t turn out as I want.
My mind still longs for the past when she felt so much better and happier.
So this isn’t a perfect process, but I’m living with emotional pain. I’m still profoundly helping others, helping to run our household efficiently, making good money, and I am grateful for my life.
To me, this means my tapping and self-care are helping me navigate a very difficult time. By being a self-champion, I am remaining functional and strong despite outer circumstances. That’s cause to celebrate!
I am grateful for so many who support me: Steve, my husband, who is also going through his own emotional stuff, my mom who loves Maddie so much, Chelsea who adores her, and all of my friends and family too.
I have moments of intense aliveness, love and joy too.
Hope these insights help you to become a champion for yourself.
We host a quarterly game night, called The Transformation Game. The next one is Friday, 10/26/18 from 5-10pm. It can really help you to understand how to champion for yourself in a way that allows
you much greater impact.
Register here. We have a few spots left.
Courageously,
Angie Monko
