Some of the loneliest days of my life have been the last
two years, after losing my daughter, Maddie (22), and then
losing support through a network group that I thought
was family (some were, others weren’t).
I felt alone and somewhat lost in my own swampland of
painful thoughts and isolation. People had hurt me and so
I kept adding layer after unknown layer of protection around
my heart. I wasn’t doing this on purpose and consciously.
After a big trauma, we tend to close our hearts off to keep
us safe. We have an unspoken sign hanging on our chest,
”Stay away. Tender Heart Here. Out Indefinitely. Will Let You
Know When We’re Open Again for Business/Life.”
Did I lose my networking group because they didn’t know
how to handle my pain? Or was I emitting a frequency of
”leave me alone” and so they did? Were they just not my tribe
of people who really get me?
I think the answer is a little of all of the above. No one is to
blame here, including myself. The law of attraction will have
us default to shame because “What’s wrong with me for feeling
so negative and ‘attracting’ this fill-in-the-blank attack, shocking
experience, abuse, etc.?”
What if nothing is wrong with us? What if things just happen, and
then we get to play with how we are going to interpret it?
What’s left at the end of the day is Angie has had a guarded
heart and hasn’t wanted to put herself out there. The 2 year anniversary
of Maddie’s passing is on 10/26, and I’m honoring her by changing
me to be the person she’d be proud of, a woman who realizes that
true acceptance is acknowledging what IS happening and stating how
we feel about it without shame.
We don’t have to be all spiritual and positive all of the time,
because that feels inauthentic. I do my best to love on myself, be
gentle and kind to myself. As a result of this practice, I’m finding
this peace within.
Nothing happening OUT THERE is causing us to feel a certain way.
That is a hard truth because it’s so easy to blame others.
Relationships can be so tricky because we are 110% certain it is
THEIR fault for us feeling so alone, lost and resentful.
If you are blaming your spouse and feeling very resentful
of how you’ve been treated over the years, please tune in.
There is a way OUT, and my partner, Morgan, and I are here to
share the way.
Mark your calendar for Wed, 10/14/20 at 12 Central and register
here for Should You Stay or Should You Go?
This free workshop is for you if you are excited to stand up for
yourself as a Loving Self-Advocate, even though it may be frightening.
You are ready to change and do something different, give up the
”victim” narrative, and reclaim your power in your primary relationship
and all relationships, for that matter.
What you are going through is difficult; we’re not minimizing
that. You may be with a narcissistic character, or you may just be
so hard on yourself that you don’t see your own loveliness, and
that’s getting in the way of receiving your good, harmony and happiness.
Either way, it’s OK. If you’re ready to look within and do the
brave work, we can help. Sign up now.
Love & Peace to you,
Angie & Morgan
PS: You are worth standing up for yourself. Register now.