Bullied by Dad
I’m reminded of being a little girl learning to ride a horse.
This big beautiful quarter horse named Tom—Tom was
dark brown, sleek and shiny. My dad kept his horses
I can hear him barking orders at me, “Sit up straight, Angela!!!”
Though I deeply admired and adored these magnificent animals, I
trembled upon hearing his voice. My mind froze. I couldn’t
think. I couldn’t perform. I’d keep messing up, and this would
anger him even more. He could smell my fear, as all bullies can.
This was but one of the ways his anger showed itself. He
had no patience with me and my older brother, Al, 19 months
older than me.
His inability to father us crept into our daily lives. We didn’t know
how his rage would would erupt. At any moment he might lose it
if Mom said the wrong thing, if Al refused to eat a fried chicken leg,
or I told him a bad April Fool’s joke about our dog, Boots, getting
My Learning: Men = Anger; Women are Weak
The lessons I learned were that men aren’t safe. Anger is not OK.
Men and anger are synonymous. Women who put up with that
kind of abuse are weak. Expressing anger, which is sometimes
necessary when setting boundaries, didn’t feel acceptable.
I also learned that I’m not lovable because my protector rejected
me, didn’t value me, and would largely ignore me. I’ve spent years
re-wiring those beliefs.
How do you see yourself? As a woman do you feel
limited or restricted…with opportunities available to
you, with expectations of how you’re supposed to be
or act—to be thin, modest, kind, attractive, sexy, un-
selfish, to be compliant with rules, etc.?
What is YOUR Identity?
We will explore your Identity this month , as a woman
in general, with your appearance, with your religion or
spirituality, and your sexuality.
How does how you view yourself hold you back? We
invite you to be open to questioning your beliefs…to find
ones that will better suit the life you want.
How was my life changed since valuing myself as a woman?
I Am Free To Be and To Express!
I am free—free to be me! I am married to a man who respects
me. He supports me to make choices that honor my need
for self care. He adores me and tells me I’m beautiful. He wants
to sit down with me on the couch at night and hold my hand.
I feel free to express what I truly think and feel with Steve. He
doesn’t shame me when I over-indulge in white cake with white
icing. He tells me to forgive myself, that I’m making
good choices 99% of the time.
Do I always receive these compliments? No, I’m a work-in-
Conservative Male Roles & Their Impact
Morgan had a different experience, but still restricted, growing
up in the Mormon religion. The male-female roles are very defined,
as it is for most of our culture. In her eyes, men led the way. Women felt
less than, were supposed to get married and have a family, not have
She’s really had to look at her business desires and give herself
permission to pursue them without guilt.
What kind of story are you telling yourself about what you’re
capable of? How have un-examined roles assigned to you by
society impacted what you think you SHOULD be doing?
Are you following your heart or holding back to please others
and keep yourself safely contained in a small glass box? You
can see there are opportunities for fulfilling experiences out
there, but you don’t feel as if you can escape to seize them?
You can tell a different story. Give yourself permission to take
some calculated risks. Most of your restrictions are occurring
between those two ears—in how you think.
Ready to Break Out of the Glass Box?
Morgan and I invite you to try on some new beliefs with us.
Join The Shifters: Women’s Holstic Empowerment (private Facebook
group) and receive regular tips on how to bust through restrictive
beliefs about what you’re capable of.