Do you hold on to things, paperwork going back to 1970, old clothes exploding out of several closets, 5 containers of garlic powder some dating back to 2015 or earlier in your kitchen cupboard?
Perhaps you have this fear of letting go of things…because quite honestly the past feels more alluring, and the present is more digestible with all of your “stuff” around you.
It’s almost fall time in the Midwest, and the leaves will be changing soon, ushering in that time of year which invites us to slow down from the crazy, rushed days of summer. Where did the summer go?
Fall technically begins 9/22, and my 48th birthday is the next day, 9/23. You may see why I love this time of year. In fact, right when August rolls around, I begin to put out my fall decorations. So, yes, I am attached to my “stuff” too.
As we get older, we begin to really reflect on our lives. Is it heading in the right direction? Are my priorities straight? Am I taking good enough care of my body, or am I starting to experience some health concerns?
All of these changes can be scary, as we get older and see everyone around us get older and some die. That’s why we experience mid-life crises. We know the changes are happening but resist them.
We don’t want to face the changing seasons of our lives. We don’t want to face our mortality. We are creatures of habit to the comfortable and known, even if this old way of being hurts.
I’m right here with you! I romanticize about the past, when my daughter, Maddie, was healthier and had more energy, when my stepdad, Rich, was alive, when my grandparents were alive and so many others.
I resist change too. I’m scared of what will happen when I breathe my last breath. I fear losing the people I love the most and how I’ll cope.
I’m the promoter of creating change that lasts, and yes, I fear change too! Is this a problem? It doesn’t have to be. It’s all in how we look at our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions.
I believe there is a recipe for having a happy life.
1) Own what we think and feel without shame. “I’m afraid of…(fill in the blank). So what? I’m human and having emotions is okay.”
2) Share these thoughts and feelings with someone who is safe and won’t judge us, thereby releasing the secrets in our heart and mind.
3) Be open to looking at our beliefs/feelings in a new way, “Maybe I can change how I’m looking at this situation so I can be happier. I don’t have to prove I’m right, do I? What’s that doing for me anyway?
It’s keeping me miserable and alone.”
I hope this mindset helps you usher in a fantastic fall, where you are less resistant to the changing seasons of life and more OPEN to creating a thriving life!
To being our best selves,
PS: We’ve been offering a transformational workshop once a month called Frontier to Your Freedom, where you can begin to break through harmful habits and replace them with healthy ones. We have a couple spots left for 9/14. You can register here.
PSS: Because of its success, we are considering doing a second night, other than a Thursday. If you’d be interested in attending a Wednesday class from 6-8pm where you can stop resisting change and start stepping up to your best self, simply reply to this email and let us know.