Do you throw the baby out with the bathwater, as the saying goes?
Another way to say this is do you have all or nothing thinking?
I believe this has been one of my character defects ever since I started dieting when I was 10 years old. My Grandma and I would count our calories all week, go get weighed in at Slim Talk on a Monday evening, and then go get a Big Mac, regardless of what the scale said.
I guess this was sort of a reward system for us, which is a good thing. What wasn’t so good was when we’d “mess up” on our diet and then figure, “Well I’ve blown it now! I might as well pig out.”
Another way I’ve seen my life through black and white lenses is by how people treat me.
Have you ever done this? 99 friends and family treat you like a worthy Queen or King and you are skeptical that they are “just trying to be nice,” but one person criticizes or judges you harshly and you instantly BELIEVE THEM.
You see, we Highly Sensitive People” (HSP) are very prone to taking responsibility for everyone else. If someone reacts with anger to something we say or do, we take it personally.
I really thought that everyone reacted this way to other people’s “stuff,” their emotions, their behaviors toward us, how we felt.
But what I’m learning is that 80% of the population is not nearly as sensitive as HSP’s. They can just plow through the world, all go go go.
They don’t need or even care if their house or environment looks a certain way. They don’t really concern themselves that much what others think of them.
They don’t reflect nearly as much on their thoughts and feelings as we HSP’s. They can go all day and then be ready to go to parties/social events at night.
This is NOT me. I honor that I have a differently wired nervous system, and my Higher Self tells me I need to STOP and SLOW DOWN. I just don’t always listen.
The conflict occurs because another one of our tendencies is to REALLY care what others think. If that weren’t the case, I could easily say NO when someone asked something of me.
What’s this got to do with throwing the baby out with the bathwater, you might ask. Go back to my story of how we believe the one negative input over the 99 positive ones.
As HSP’s we tend to wear our heart on our sleeves and we can be easily hurt. We believe that one criticism even though it’s just one hater’s opinion of us.
Or if someone ignores us, we assume it’s because WE did something wrong. What if they just want to avoid conflict like us?
If you hear yourself in this dialog, then register today for the next Frontier to Your Freedom class on Thursday, October 11th from 6-8pm.
Courageously,
Angie Monko
