When Times Are Good, Relationships Aren’t Tested
A pandemic brings out our frightened inner parts.
Trauma and chaos have a way of testing everyone of us.
When things are hunky dory, when everyone is making
plenty of money and feeling secure, we don’t really get
to know each other deeply, and our relationships aren’t
tested for strength and resiliency.
Introduce challenging conflict, loss, grief, threats of safety
to our very lives, and it has a way of flushing out friendships that
will stand the test of time, and some that won’t.
I’ve had some parts of me brought to the surface that I
don’t like. In particular, my judgmental self has been getting
a lot more airtime.
My husband, Steve, calls this part PG—but it’s not so
innocent as a movie rating. Pedestal Girl. Yep. I put myself
on this pedestal of arrogant understanding.
And the pandemic has highlighted my PG self. Some of my
aunts and uncles will barely leave their house. They watch
the news closely and are taking it all to heart.
When I Judge You, I Am In Fear
It’s easy to put myself on a pedestal and judge others for their
fears, especially when I disagree with their world view and values.
But when I do this, I’m being fearful too. Ugh.
I separate myself from them, when right now we could all
benefit from more unity. We won’t ever all think the same.
But we can do our best to stay on our side of the street, and
manage our own perspectives, keep our own peace.
The following quotes really speak to me and remind me
to maintain my focus on peace and check my EGO. They
hit me square between the eyes.
“Vex not thy spirit at the course of things; they heed not
thy vexation. How ludicrous and outlandish is astonishment
at anything that may happen in life.” Marcus Aurelius
“CONTROL/ARROGANCE The passion for setting people right
is in itself an afflictive disease—Marianne Moore
Women who do too much often think that it is our job to set
others right. After much gathering of information and acquisition
of knowledge, we really have come to believe that we can and
do know what is best for other people. Since we know what is best,
we have no difficulty sharing this important information with any
who will—or sometimes even will not—listen. Some of us even get
PAID for knowing what is best for others and setting them right.
Ugh, it doesn’t look so good on paper, does it?
Perhaps TODAY would be a good day to look at my arrogance.
Benevolent arrogance is still arrogance.” May 23rd, Meditations
For Women Who Do Too Much
What can you do? Reciting the Serenity Prayer really helps to
remind me of my powerlessness over life and helps me to
discern what to do next.
Remember the Serenity Prayer
“God/Universe, grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.”
If you are frightened, acknowledge that part of you. Check in
with yourself and ask, “Am I really in danger, or is there another
way to look at this?” Follow your inner guidance system.
No one has had YOUR experience of life but you. Keep
asking yourself questions until you feel a little bit lighter,
freer, more flexible, have some relief.
If I’ve judged you, I’m sorry. It’s simply my own fear speaking.
When I am Still, and allow myself to slow down, I am at Peace.
There is a part of me, deep down, that knows All IS Well.
Love,
Angie Monko
