I work with a lot of people, and some are very tentative about allowing me into the inner resources of their mind, while others are open books and gladly share their stories. In fact, some may even be addicted to their stories and probably share it too eagerly.
Why the vast difference? Even though the people “appear” to be different, I don’t think they are so far apart in their underlying motives. The person with whom I have to excavate the true issue or pain point is living from shame. They are ashamed of their past behavior and imagine they are bad and that their behavior is unique (others are better than them and wouldn’t do the same things).
They live a secret inner life and carefully portray a neat little outer world or self-image.
On the other hand, the person who “tells it all” repeatedly may also carry a lot of shame. They are living in their past and very attached to their “victim story.” They subconsciously feel that their story defines them, and they are addicted to their suffering because it feels comfortable to them. Often their story is laden with guilt and shame, just like the person who wants to hide their story. Do you fall into this category? If you are concerned about self-image (and most people are), I challenge you to look below the surface and inside of yourself for the answers.
My business coach just told me that I have the archetype of the Renegade. Wikipedia has this to say about a renegade: “Renegade historically refers to knights that either refused to swear fealty to any royalty, or broke such oaths to offer their “services” to whoever would pay them the most money. Renegade knights were especially feared due to them not following expected codes of conduct.” To clarify what she meant when she described me this way was that I’m a rule breaker. I’m not afraid to go into uncharted territory by questioning belief systems and what society currently deems acceptable.
Maybe you don’t want to be a renegade or go to that extreme, and that’s okay.
But consider how much better your life could be if you would consider challenging your belief systems (your BS). This can be very threatening because it shakes your very foundation.
How hungry are you for a better life?
In the mean time, think about how concerned you are about your self-image.
Are you overly concerned, and does this need to protect your image prevent you from being your authentic self?
Who really cares what people think about you if you’re miserable.
Food for thought….
Make it a wonderful day!
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