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I was lying on a steel, cold gurney.  I was frigid AND I couldn’t  move.  Some man in a white medical coat stood next to me, demanding in an impatient tone that I lift my arm.

But I couldn’t….and I was upset that I couldn’t please him,  this stranger who was demanding something so difficult.  It was, in fact, impossible, because….I was dead.  I was in a morgue.

And even while I lie there dead, I still had a need to please  another human being.  I woke up from this dream in a daze. I had this dream years ago. But it still stays with me.

When I think of how much I’ve tried to please others, it makes me angry. Just like my dead body lying on a gurney and trying to lift my lifeless arm is impossible so is my ability to win
others’ love by gaining their approval.

Life has granted me a tough blow, between the loss of my daughter and the perceived rejection by some members of my network group.

It’s a wake up call to tell me that I need to find the true source of my freedom.  It’s what I’ve always preached: the peace we  seek comes from within, not some external source or from how others treat us.

So how far will you go to be other than you are?  The way to know this is to ask yourself, “How much do I honor myself by being me, regardless of what others think?”

Examples of this:

1) Being quiet in a room of strangers, when we really want to  speak up, but we’re afraid we won’t be accepted or belong if we do.
2) Doing things we don’t really want to do, in order to gain approval.
3) Trying hard to get others to like us, by being overly nice or overly accommodating.
4)  When others don’t reciprocate our niceness or give as much as we do, we feel resentful.
5) Avoiding honest, sincere communication which could result in conflict.
6) Being the good boy or girl to prevent being seen as selfish.

So where do you see yourself? Did you see the recent movie, Bohemian Rhapsody?  Rami Malek won the Oscar for best actor for his performance as Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen. Check out his youtube  speech acceptance if you have time.

Rami praised Freddie Mercury for being an outstanding human being, a gay Egyptian immigrant, who lived an authentic life and was un-apologetically himself, from his dress to his values.

I aspire to be like Freddie and to teach others to do the same.  That’s my calling.  This lesson has dropped into my heart experience:

Other people’s opinions of me is NONE of my business.

I want to work with you if you believe that who you WANT to show up as in business is no different than who you are in your personal life. It’s so freeing to give up the mask.

I want to partner with you (as a client or referral partner) if you value authentic connection, where we know what we get from each other, full transparency.

If you like the idea of finding your true voice…if you define professionalism as being kind, respectful, doing your best, being your authentic self without apology and not having to tone down your personality to keep others feeling comfortable…then you and I for each other.

I am going to get super clear on WHO I AM, in honor of Maddie. This should help you discern if we’re a good match.

If you think so, let’s have a conversation. I’m taking a stand for all those people who just want to show up as themselves and be accepted for their differences. I’m taking a stand for authentic connection, for being
REAL without pretense.

If you think we’re a good fit, let’s have a conversation.  Call me at (314) 422-6520.


Angie Monko