As an intuitive woman leader, have you felt like there isn’t enough time, money or love, to ever feel like YOU are enough?

If so, you aren’t alone. Many of us don’t know how to receive money, time and love.  We stay stuck in the struggle because it’s much more comfy there, like remaining as the caterpillar before it begins its metamorphosis into goo and then emerges as the beautiful butterfly.

A colorful caterpillar crawling in a pink curvy stick. The words in the picture says "HAVE YOU STRUGGLED TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS, MAKE MONEY AND LIVE A LIFE YOU LOVE?"

The goo is the land of limbo and very uncomfortable. The caterpillar actually digests itself in this phase of its transformation. Sounds pretty intense, huh? 2024 is going to be a transition year for a lot of us, and could be quite uncomfortable. Can you just feel it in your bones?

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I invite you on a journey to think back to a time in your life that was incredibly painful, when you were in the goo. How can you alchemize that pain into its opposite, your superpower gift? Once you do, you’ll be on the path to receiving more money, time and love.

In this blog, I’ll share my story and how I’m using my pain as a gateway to help others (my selfless why), and pursue more money, time and love (my “selfish” why).

How I’m Alchemizing my Pain into Prosperity

As of late, I’ve upped my commitment to grow my life coaching business because I realize my fears have been greater than my commitment to help others.

This commitment is pushing my limiting beliefs and blocks to the surface so I can heal them and move forward.

I’ve always known that a through line in my life has been grief, loss and disappointment. It’s as if I’m cozy all snuggled up in the pain. It’s familiar and expected.

My Aunt Elaine

My Aunt Elaine was my best friend. I felt cool hanging out with a 16 year old because I was only six years old. I tagged along with her whenever she let me.

She’d take me to A&W Rootbeer Stand for a fried tenderloin sandwich and fries.  She’d walk with me in the timber and point out her favorite flowers. On the way back she’d pick some daisies (her favorite flower) and then we’d play in the sandbox.

I loved her attention. Being 16, she got a boyfriend, Jim, and so he did take some of that time away from me. One evening, Elaine, Jim and I were sitting in my uncle’s white Chevy Nova, with me in the backseat. They were getting frisky with each other, kissing, and Elaine asked me, “Angie, will you go inside?”

I said no. She asked again with more insistence, and I said no I don’t want to.  On her third attempt to get me unlodged from the backseat, I screamed at her, “I hate you! I hope you die!” and I ran inside, hurt and dejected.

Two weeks later, Elaine was dead. I didn’t even know anything was wrong. Mom called and interrupted a sleepover at my cousin’s one morning in June 1976. Mom was sobbing, “Elaine has died.” I couldn’t believe it.

She had a fast growing tumor in her chest. From a healthy vivacious, hormonal teen to gone–just like that.  I absorbed the grief of her mom, my caretaker, Grandma Radae, my Grandpa who was never the same, and my two uncles Fred and Ray, and my Dad.

Elaine was the 4th child after my grandparents held out for a girl, having three sons already. They had their daughter for 16 years until she died in June 1976. I remember the fireflies during this time of year.  It was surreal. Elaine lay in the casket as the packed funeral home of mourners wailed in disbelief.

Elaine and I were both born on September 23rd, making our bond even more special.  As if the loss wasn’t painful and confusing enough to a 6 year old girl, I was loaded with guilt, fear and shame.

I don’t remember adults talking to me to help me process the loss. Through my child’s eyes, I made it mean the following:

  1. I’m very bad and selfish because I wished her dead. My desires are wrong and very powerfully so.
  2. I’m going to die when I’m 16 years old.
  3. The other shoe will drop. I can’t relax.
  4. Life is loss and grief.

I remember regularly reading a poem that my Uncle Ray wrote in honor of Elaine. It was published in the Worden, IL newspaper. I’d read it and weep, feeling heartbroken and ashamed of my mean words and missing her.

Fast forward 42 years later. My daughter, Maddie, 22 years old, died of cystic fibrosis.  My grief was reignited; the deep wounds hadn’t fully healed from losing Elaine.

Again familiar territory. Grief the main pattern. These were the determining painful events that led me to self protect rather than serve, to seek loss and disappointment over freedom and happiness.

How Can I Alchemize This Pain?

Can you imagine that if you’re living in pain, such as loss, grief and disappointment, that you might form some beliefs to keep you safe?

The main belief I formed that affected me later in life: “It doesn’t feel safe to put too much effort into my business because I’m going to lose that too.”

Even though it’s true that we will all lose everything at some point in time, I felt as though an immature child was running my business, making me feel helpless.

So how can I convert this loss and disappointment and USE it to uplevel my commitment to helping others? What is the opposite?

The opposite is hope that everything will be OK. Why let loss dictate a mediocre life? What superpower of mine was created when Elaine died? Compassion and Empathy that life is hard, and I can help by being there for others. I can make my life about service.

Life Will Always Throw You Curve Balls


How will you handle the curve balls? What is your painful event that ties you to the past and locks you to a fearful future? What gift or superpower did you glean from it? Though you may not know what the gift is at first, I assure you it’s there.

Can you see how believing from a place of shame, guilt, fear, loss, and disappointment can hold you back from being the mature leader who has great impact? You may feel like an imposter in your career, or like you have a hobby and not a business if you’re self-employed.

A woman who wears dark pink sweatshirt with her hands in a stop sign position. The words in the picture is "ARE YOU LIVING IN SELF-PROTECTION MODE?".

If you’ve primarily lived in self-protection mode, it IS impacting your ability to receive money, time and love. Receiving won’t feel safe, but VERY risky.

Life is all about the energy we take into our consciousness, and the energy we release back to the world.

If you give out fearful energy (which self-protection is always fear based), you’ll have a hard time committing to anyone or anything else, really committing where you’re all in. In this instance, we are talking about committing to a career you love and/or growing your business, which might be a seedling right now, even if you’ve been doing it for years. Our dreams take much longer to fulfill when we are hurting and self protective.  

Deep inner wounds like the one I got from losing Elaine and Maddie will camouflage your desires, dreams and ambitions, keeping you stagnant in confusion, guilt, and shame for not being enough.

Where Do You Go From Here?

On the table, there is a plant, candle in blue container, stones and a pen above the notebooks.

Put pen to paper and dive into what painful defining event has kept you feeling bad for yourself, like a victim to life’s circumstances, people, and Universal plan.

Place your hand over your heart and ask your Higher Self/God for guidance. If you’re in the right mental and emotional space, it should come to you fairly quickly.  You’ve been living with it a long time, and so it should FEEL familiar.

How can you convert this deep pain into purpose and begin to utilize the potential superpower that was assigned to you when it happened? I believe mine is Compassion and deep empathy for others, allowing me to be a great life coach. I’ve always lived on the deeper side of life, interested in looking within for answers.

I realize that you may not want that. You simply want more money, time and love.  That’s OK too. And I’d wager to say that if you reflect on this longer, you’ll come to understand a deeper purpose for your life. WHY are you here? How can you serve with your unique gifts and perspectives?

Find someone you trust to talk to, perhaps a coach you resonate with. You don’t have to go through the goo alone.

By taking this first step to seek a confidante to have this deep conversation with, you’re on your way.

These things want to come out of you and be transformed into the beautiful butterfly you really are.  You matter.



When you begin to purge the pain from your past, and see how you can use it as a superpower, you’ll be on the path to being able to receive more time, money and love.

You see, it takes just as much energy to spend money and pay bills as it does to receive money. It takes an equal amount of energy to give and receive time. It takes the same energy to give and receive love.  In other words, to be able to receive money, time and love takes much more energy than most people realize.

If your energy is blocked with painful events from the past, there isn’t the space or energy to convert it into something helpful that will serve you and others. If you’d like to be able to receive more money, time and love, book your free Overcome Imposter Syndrome & Come Home to Yourself call today.  When you are your authentic self, not weighed down by the painful past, space will emerge within your heart to pave a new way back to yourself, back to True Prosperity.

Much Love,
Angie Monko,
Life Coach for Intuitive Women Leaders