Do you celebrate yourself? I bet you don’t.
We often notice everything we aren’t doing right.
That’s normal I guess. The mind seeks out our imperfections
and then labels us not good enough, a loser, a failure.
Do you do that?
Yesterday was International Women’s Day, a time to celebrate
yourself as a woman. Consider for a moment all of the things
that you DO do for so many.
Meal plan, grocery shop, cook, pay bills, vacuum,
dust, do laundry, work at a job or in a business, etc., etc.
In your spare time, you help your kids with homework, you talk
them off the ledge when they are having a melt down because
of some emergency with their boyfriend, you comfort your partner
when they had a lousy day at work, you try to be there for your
friends when they need you to run an errand, and on and on.
Do you ever really stop to pause and consider how much you
really do? What if you weren’t here any more? Who would feel
I’m not trying to puff up your importance need, but in your
story you’re a significant character. You WOULD be missed.
And you don’t do things perfectly—you get angry and yell at your
kids, say mean things to your spouse, get revenge by distancing
yourself and shutting down your heart when someone hurts you.
My Vulnerability Hangover
I just did this with my husband, Steve. Ever have a vulnerability
hangover sort of day? After a particularly lovely day of connecting
with another soul, the next day seems to offer a sucky contrast?
Steve and I had a wonderful day on Sunday, hanging out, giving
massages, playing scrabble over a glass of Chardonnay, walking
our dog, Mars…you get the picture.
Then Monday we both woke up sort of snarky. Over a benign request
of me asking him to feed Mars (he’d say I was criticizing him), things
somehow got off track, and we were angry at each other before
we even got out of bed.
The morning worsened when the irritation led to another conversation
of tit for tat, where I felt blamed and that he wasn’t taking personal
responsibility for his life. Ugh.
I told him I didn’t feel like hanging around his negative energy, and
I just needed to have space, that I didn’t want to meditate or do our
energy routine together that day.
This hurt his feelings (my intention) as I’m now angry for him wasting
my time with the drama. Yet we still did our stuff together.
Then he goes to do something with his pinball machine, and he
twists his back and feels like he can’t work out.
I blame myself because I know how much our heart affects others.
When we close our heart, trying to reject them for hurting us, it
sends out this signal. Steve picked up on that pain signal, and
twisted his back. Even that annoyed me, thinking, “Gosh he just
needs attention from me!”
But I did some energy work on his back and told him I thought
it was mostly emotional, and to go rest it for a bit.
After I did some tapping to calm myself down (because truth
is that I was feeling out of sorts due to my mom going in to get
knee replacement surgery), I felt bad, like I caused him to hurt
So I apologized and explained that I wasn’t abandoning him
when I said those things. Logically he knew this, but in his heart,
it triggered a subconscious reaction to the little boy who was
threatened by his parents to send him to an orphanage if he
got out of line.
Then I put some essential oils on his back. And he’s fine. No
more back pain.
The reason for this story is that after I acted immaturely to him,
I got mad at myself for not being as patient or as loving as I
should be. It brought feelings of insecurity to the surface.
When do you do this? Ever notice how your behavior like this
takes you down a shame spiral, feeling like you’re not a good
enough mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, etc.?
So I tapped, and once I acknowledged how I was feeling, the
main positive thing I kept repeating to myself was, “I love and
accept myself anyway.”
So please today…whatever you did yesterday, or today, or will
do tomorrow, please let it be OK. Let you be enough. Forgive
your humanness. It’s alright.
Let THEM off the hook. Let YOU off the hook. Take ONE minute
to celebrate something you’re grateful for about yourself.
I’m kind…most of the time.
I’m loving…most of the time.
I have a good heart…most of the time.
I truly care about others….most of the time.
I’m a good mom, wife, daughter, sibling…most of the time.
I’m a good listener…most of the time.
So you’re not perfect. Who cares? You’re a perfectly
lovable woman who loves imperfectly. That’s perfect to me.
Love ya as you are,
PS: Let’s do this self-love thing together. I want to work with you.
Register now for free, zoom, women’s retreat.
PSS: And join our private FB group for women’s holistic empowerment,
The Shifters, where I’ll share two empowering videos per week,
with the exception of one week, in which I’ll do one.
We can interact there, and I can get to know you better
so I can support you more.