Have you ever sat in the parking lot before going into a networking event, thinking “Why am I doing this? No one wants to really know me. Who should I connect with anyway?”
If so, you’re not alone. A lot of people I work with, including myself, feel this way.
We easily get overwhelmed by all of the people and energy at networking events and any large groups, because our nervous systems are wired differently if we are highly sensitive.
Being a highly sensitive person (HSP–term coined by Dr. Elaine Aron in the 90’s) is not a curse or anything to be ashamed of. In fact, when managed, it’s a great gift. We occupy positions as the “royal advisers” of the planet.
The world needs those of us who are empaths, intuitives, deep listeners, peacemakers, because we can build bridges between people with different beliefs and help them realize we can always find some commonality, like the love of children and animals.
Back to the networking dilemma… The reason we want to avoid the large groups is because it overwhelms us.
We HSP’s also wrestle with letting go of perfectionism.
“WHO should I talk to? WHAT should I say? I really despise all of the shallow conversations that lead nowhere. I don’t like the self-promoting. WHEN will I have time to schedule a one-to-one?
I’m already overwhelmed….” and on and on we go.
If we dig a little deeper, we might find that there is also a fear of being seen as we truly are.
“Would people really like me if they knew about my faults and insecurities? What if they knew I struggle with making end’s meet? What if they knew I yell at my kids? What if they knew I
feel fat and ugly?”
What we’re REALLY talking about here is feeling safe to be ourselves, to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable will feel scary. That’s how to know if you’re being authentically vulnerable.
Most of us work really hard 24/7 to manage what other people think of us. I certainly care and do this. I think I’m getting better at NOT doing it.
We ultimately fear that if we show up as ourselves, people won’t like us, and we won’t be enough. THEN we will end up alone and lonely.
Though this may seem like a stretch, consider your own life. Keep digging into WHY you do what you do. I really believe that we take actions to avoid feeling lonely and isolated. Our loneliness is SO painful that we will do whatever it takes to stay BUSY and not feel this way.
Isn’t that why death is so scary? We fear on some very deep, subconscious level that we will be thrown into the unknown, all alone.
I encourage you to journal about this and ask yourself, “How can I begin to feel safe showing up as the real me?” See what begins to bubble up over the next week…
Reply to this email, comment on my blog and let me know what comes up for you. I really want to know.
With gratitude,
Angie Monko
PS: The next Frontier to Freedom tapping class is Thursday, 9/13/18. Register Here. This is a safe space, an oasis, to begin to feel comfortable being YOU as you truly are.
We encourage attendees to check their judgment at the door, ditch the guilt and shame. Examine the stories they’re telling themselves. Are they REALLY true?
