I’d set the alarm for 5:30am this past Sunday, hoping to get up
early and write this blog. I dragged myself out of bed by 7am,
not wanting to leave the residue of my dream, which was
comforting and familiar.
It’s unusual for me to even remember my dreams.
“Mommy….. Mommy!” I was lying on a comfy hammock at my mom’s property
in Worden, Illinois, looking up at the balmy sky and feeling protected
by the canopy of oak trees. I immediately knew the sweet voice,
emanating from the only person in the world who called me that.
I looked to my right, and there she was, as beautiful as ever,
walking towards me, her lanky arms and legs, her brown hair
grown out full, wavy and very long.
I hopped up and began running towards her. We embraced
for a long time. It’s an understatement to describe how it felt
to hold her thin frame again in my arms. A man dying of thirst in a
desert for 40 days and then cool, refreshing, pure water splashing down
“Maddie, why haven’t you come before now?” I admonished.
“What?! We’ve been visiting regularly,” she said.
“It’s not the same though to feel you. I’ve missed you so much!”
I’ve not had one dream (that I remember) of my daughter, Maddie, since she transitioned
10/26/18 at 22 until now. But yet it came early Sunday morning. I’m told the Lion’s
Gate spiritual portal is open through 8/13, and since the veil between our world
and the other is thinner, spirits from the other side are more readily felt.
I believe Maddie was trying to get my attention to remind me of some things.
1) In my last reading with her on 5/2/20, she said there are two camps, one of Fear
and one of Love. Keep choosing Love to stay strong.
2) Her presence reminded me that I am safe because I have massive
support and love “behind the scenes.”
3) Trust the Invisible. My needs will be supplied.
It’s been easy for me to be swept up into the fray of human suffering.
I want to be responsible and fix the problems “out there.”
I want to get angry at all of the injustices in the world and resent
that so much has changed and seems really MESSED UP! I also want
to be validated that my narrative of beliefs and opinions are right.
What is the proper balance between feeling ALL OF THIS STUFF
and taking some action? Do I need to take action at all?
Speaking up feels terrifying, a threat to my well-being. Should
I just skirt around the issues? Should I join a protest?
I don’t have the answers for myself, let alone you. Your
injustices are most likely different from mine. What feels right for YOU?
Does it make sense to create space within ourselves to choose US, to
never abandon US, to keep choosing Life As It IS?
How do we stay loyal to ourselves when we get so full and overwhelmed
by all of the alarming news that we are rendered frozen? We lose inspiration.
Creativity takes a flying leap. We feel lonely and disconnected.
What if we take time each day to empty ourselves, through meditation,
energy routine, tapping, talking with and surrounding ourselves with
one or more people we trust, journaling, exercising, or doing whatever
floats our boat?
When we make this type of Zen space within, we are able to choose the Love camp
over the Fear camp more often. We are able to renew our Faith in the Unseen.
We are able to trust more, ourselves, a few select others, and Life.
And if you don’t have anyone you feel you can trust, reply to this email. I’m
here for you. You can have whatever beliefs feel right to you. If they keep you in
fear, it may be time to adjust how you’re thinking. Maybe…maybe not.
It’s up to you.
The Japanese master Nan-in gave audience to a professor of philosophy.
Serving tea, Nan-in filled his visitor’s cup, and kept pouring.
The professor watched the overflow until he could restrain himself no longer:
STOP! The cup is overfull, no more will go in.
Nan-in said: Like this cup, you are full of your own opinions and speculations.
How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?
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