Are you too hard on yourself? I have been, all of my life. What a heavy burden I’ve put on myself to achieve and produce, get results. Maybe the results I should seek are in the form of a relaxing afternoon without any need to BE any way or DO anything. Even though it’s logical to celebrate little successes, set aside time for fun activities and reward myself on a regular basis, boy how my ego doesn’t think I deserve this.
I sort of had a wake up call this week, when I realized I’m a poor teacher. I’m learning what I teach, which is of course how I show up in life, tired and rushed and overwhelmed. This is very humbling. I really don’t want to teach my young daughters this draining approach to life. But I have to admit, that up until this last week, I have wanted to teach them this frazzled existence because that is exactly how I’ve been behaving.
My attitude has done a 360 degree reversal. So what, I say! The past means nothing, and I’m no longer accepting this dramatic story in my life. My story went something like this: I have a full-time job, 2 teenagers and a husband, a household to run, a business to grow, groceries to buy, articles to write, bills to pay and budgets to manage, friends to entertain and spend time with, several sponsees in a 12 step program, not to mention countless conference calls and meetings and social events.
It sounds pretty exhausting, doesn’t it? I get tired when I think I’m too busy for life. So I’m no longer thinking the thought, “I’m too busy and overwhelmed, and I need more rest and fun and relaxation.” Hogwash! If I really wanted all of the latter, I’d be prioritizing that way. Well, I’m shifting inside and allowing my joy to emerge. I’m allowing myself to focus on what I’ve done right and not what I haven’t accomplished because, you see, it will NEVER be enough. You may ask, it’s that simple?
I say yes. It’s a simple decision. How do I choose to focus my mind?
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Peace to You,