Have you ever tried various strategies to release weight? It seems the more we try things and they don’t work, the more we ingrain the belief that we’re a hopeless case. So when we start a new food or exercise plan, we naturally get our hopes up that we may just be successful…this time may be different. Recently I began doing bikram yoga, in which I sweat my butt off for an hour and a half in 105 degree temperature room.
I really love it even though it sounds like torture! I also began a 24 day cleanse that ends in a few days. Although I haven’t felt deprived and I’ve learned to really crave fruits and vegetables, I still had a two-fold intention for making these changes. One, I wanted to truly detoxify my body, and two, I wanted to release some weight. I think I’ve done both, but as the cleanse comes to an end, I have this attachment to the idea, “Well, I wish I would have released more weight. And why are my hands swollen?
No matter how hard I try, it seems my effort is never good enough for me. My body doesn’t cooperate with me.” You can see how, instead of thanking my body for where it’s at, I’m focusing on swollen hands and being confused as to why they are swollen. I’m not appreciating myself at all. This is what I call conditionally loving myself. That’s all I’ve ever really known how to do in this lifetime. So Dawn Ferguson told me today to ask my body what it’s trying to tell me. So I did. I heard the message, “Love me, love me, love me!”
I sent love to all parts of me that feel the need to be perfect in order to be loved. I explained to myself that it’s okay to be swollen and not release weight. I can throw away the scale (which I haven’t used in nearly 7 weeks anyway)! After all, needing to weigh is just another form of control. I am not going to worry about releasing weight from my actions. I know I’m doing kind things to my body and just because I have
swollen hands for some unknown reason, I choose to let go of that fact and surrender to the love I have inside of me.
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Peace & Blessings,