Do you feel like your marriage has become a power struggle?
Do you find yourself keeping score of who’s done more?
It’s a couple weeks past Valentine’s Day, a day in which we’re to celebrate our significant other. But if you’re like many worn out, over-scheduled business owners, entrepreneurs, and professionals,
it’s just another day of pressure to perform somehow–find the perfect gift, say the sappy sentiment, or display a unique gesture of love.
You might find yourself stretched so thin with your responsibilities, of being the perfect spouse, parent, business owner, that you have little energy left to create a healthy marriage.
Please answer the following:
1) Do you often feel defensive with your spouse?
2) Do you resent your spouse and feel that your destiny is controlled by him/her?
3) Do you often engage in petty arguments with your spouse, in order to prove you’re right and/or “not wrong”?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may find your marriage is in a power struggle, lacking harmony. How are you giving your power away to your spouse?
To honestly communicate with your spouse is absolutely critical if you want to have harmony in the relationship. But it’s very scary, isn’t it?
We will often keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion to avoid having those honest, real & tough conversations. We don’t want to hurt their feelings. But until we are willing to do just that and pierce the resentment we are feeling, we are on a slippery slope with our marriage’s longevity, at least a HAPPY
marriage.
What is needed? A mindset shift. Loving someone is not so much a feeling, but an attitude. Feelings change so quickly and sporadically that if you feel you’re no longer in love with someone because you might be feeling angry and resentful, you might reconsider if this is really true.
Work on clearing out the resentment that you have created based on your interpretation and perception of events, not necessarily based on how THEY actually treat you.
Example: You may blame your spouse for not supporting you with going back to school or any kind of investment in yourself. But in reality, YOU decided subconsciously you didn’t feel worthy of it, and you assumed they swayed your decision by discouraging you to do it. Make sense?
People will often mirror back to us something we need to learn about ourselves.
If we want to live in harmony, we will need to do the work of looking within which requires a great deal of humility and courage.
I can help you with this! My marriage isn’t perfect, and yes, it sometimes feels like a roller coaster of emotion. But it’s real and authentic, and I can say that I’m happy with who I am inside the relationship.
Let’s continue this discussion. Get an action plan for your fulfillment and harmony. Join me March 8th
To Your Harmony,
Angie Monko
