This week in my hypnotherapy class, I did an exercise where I went into a light hypnotic state after asking my self several questions, designed to discover what beliefs of mine are running the show. We all live by all sorts of rules, and the rules we put in place to keep our lives safe often point us to our beliefs. Before going into this hypnotic state, I also asked for an image of how old I was and what was going on around me at that time that lead to my belief as well as how the belief has affected my life/health.
What I discovered was very interesting because I didn’t expect it. I thought I knew my core beliefs pretty well. Here were three beliefs I uncovered:
1) I am safe when my environment is neat and orderly and quiet (baby or toddler).
2) I must be pretty and thin and attractive to be loved (6 years old).
3) I am fat and ugly (11 years old). I don’t want to share what was going on around me because it might hurt some people in my life.
Suffice it to say that it wasn’t healthy. There was a lot of loud yelling and chaos and abuse. This anxiety still lives in my energy system, and I don’t much like crowds. I prefer peace and calm and quiet. I’ve released much of this energy and will continue to drain the power of these negative beliefs. I learned the extra weight I carried (and still carry about 15 pounds extra although that is changing) protected me from being too attractive to men. I’d heard this from other women, but I had no idea it applied to me! I didn’t trust sexual instincts.
The extra weight kept me from opening my heart and being exposed and vulnerable. I learned when I developed a negative body image. I had found a bunch of my Dad’s Playboy magazines when I was about six years old and thought I needed to look like that to be loved. I always felt dissatisfied with my body. This negative image helped me to sustain being overweight because that is how I saw myself. I don’t recall my
Dad ever saying I looked pretty either.
Now that I’m aware of these beliefs, I can tap on them and let them go. I can let the light shine in and feel at peace.
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Peace & Blessings,