I had a wonderful hypnotherapy session with Dawn Ferguson, in which I met four different parts of my younger self. The first part that showed up for me was my six-year-old self. I could see her, so vulnerable, curly hair and missing teeth. At this age, much of my fear and anxiety was born, which resulted in psoriasis on my scalp and biting my lips. I have this ever-present, low-grade anxiety. She was very upset because her whole world had been turned upside down with the sudden death of her sixteen-year-old Aunt, her buddy.
Elaine was the 4th child and only girl of her paternal Grandma, her daytime caretaker. Elaine developed a large, cancerous tumor in her chest and passed within two weeks of diagnosis. Elaine was born on 9/23, the same day as Angie, but ten years earlier. About a month before her death, Angie was sitting in the car with her Aunt and her Aunt’s boyfriend. Elaine asked young Angie to leave so she could be alone with Jim,
and Angie got very upset and said, “I hate you and I hope you die!” For a long time after Elaine’s death, guilt plagued Angie because she felt responsible. So six-year-old Angie was dealing not only with guilt and fear that her words were powerful enough to cause her aunt’s death, she had lost her support system in her Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, and Uncle who were deeply grieving this loss.
So in hypnosis, I was able to comfort my six-year-old and also to meet my Aunt Elaine. She re-assured me it wasn’t my fault and told me how proud of me she was. I cried and cried while under hypnosis. It was very scary to re-visit this time, and it was also very healing. I feel much more at peace. I had previously tapped on this, but I’d not completely cleared the trauma. With this session, I feel like I can relax and that I’m not responsible to rescue or save poor, helpless souls out there. Since Elaine’s death, I began a pattern of attracting friends who I could help or rescue, probably as a way to redeem myself from “killing” my Aunt. It also helped me to fixate on people’s victim natures.
Now it’s easier for me to see others’ strength and invulnerability. My six-year-old taught me compassion, which is a gift I’m very grateful for. I’ve thanked her for that and asked her to just relax. Wow!
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Peace & Blessings,