I next met my eleven-year-old self in my hypnotherapy session. She taught me a belief in scarcity and rejection. At this age, I began to subconsciously feel rejected. My Mom and Dad divorced, and although I welcomed the absence of tension and parental conflict, I felt somehow flawed and rejected. Why would Dad leave us and not maintain regular contact? I didn’t like him but I did need his love. I began to feel I wasn’t enough because my own Dad didn’t love or want me. This feeling of being unworthy led me to believe I had to perform or DO things to prove myself worthy.
If I’m not enough at the core, then I won’t have enough time to get done all of the activities needed to get done to allow myself to feel I’d earned the reward of relaxing and feeling good about myself. If I can never do enough to feel this worthiness, then I’d never be able to earn enough money to feel secure. I wouldn’t be capable of allowing money to come easily to me because I must work hard for it. “Nothing good comes easy” and “You must pay your dues” come to mind. These are strong, ingrained beliefs for me. Are they true? My eleven-year-old says they are.
I thanked her for teaching me to be a motivated action taker with a strong desire to succeed. I also explained that working excessively to reach a goal or to feel worthy is a fruitless endeavor. I told her to work to have fun–she’s already worthy! When money comes easily because I love what I do, then there IS enough of it. I AM abundant now! I will need to continue to convince her of this because she’s not totally buying it. I will keep persisting because I know that when I completely believe that I am abundant and accepted, life will become a breeze for me. The struggle will be over, and the anxiety will melt away.
The key here is to acknowledge what my part did for me (gave me motivation, desire, success and results) and also acknowledge how she is hurting me in the present moment (potential burnout, lack of direction, feelings of inadequacy and rejection). I honor all of these aspects of her and forgive her and thank her and really listen to her with respect. Lastly, I let it all go and surrender it to my Higher Self.
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Peace & Blessings,