Good afternoon! I’m so excited for our upcoming Divorcing Moms Retreat: How to
Confidently Navigate Divorce and Keep Your Kids out of the Middle this Saturday.
Please tell your girlfriends who are contemplating divorce, going through one, or
who are divorced about it so they can join this experience and gain life-changing
wisdom.
Register here now for the retreat which is free and online.
Yes, even if someone is already divorced, they often unwittingly put their kids
in the middle, and so this retreat can help them interrupt that behavior.
It’s amazing how much the conflict from divorce damages our children because
if they are not grown up when we divorce, they don’t have the abstract reasoning
skills to not make it their fault. They think that if one parent can stop loving another
parent that they can probably stop loving them.
Judith Wallerstein and Joan Berlin Kelly, both clinical psychologists, conducted a long-
term research study in 1971, the “California Children of Divorce Study.” They
interviewed 131 children and their parents from 60 divorced families, when each
divorce became final and the family ceased to exist as they’d knew it.
After 25 years of this longitudinal study and 4 books later, they drew some conclusions:
1) Children go through divorce in single file (they can’t lean on other children for support).
2) Parents really need to fully co-parent and care more about the children’s needs
than their own.
3) Divorce in itself is not what endangers children the most; it’s the conflict between
their parents.
The culture in which parents are divorcing, perpetuated and supported by our legal
system, is corrupt and badly broken. How can one expect healthy, well-adjusted parents
and children of divorce to be produced when the machinery is meant to spit out more
trauma, broken spirits and broken bank accounts?
This HAS TO change. It’s demoralizing to our society, and it feeds off of greed and
the need for lawyers to make money off of people’s pain. It’s sort of like how society
rewards professional athletes with millions of dollars, and our school teachers struggle
to live on low incomes. We have misplaced values as a society.
If YOU or someone you know has been caught in this web of corruption, the divorce
system, there is a way out. And it requires emotional intelligence. And the payoffs
will be huge in terms of quality of life, more money in your pocket as opposed to the
legal system’s, more peace and harmony within the family unit.
Help me spread the word! I am here to help change this broken culture. It’s not the
divorce that damages ourselves and our kids. It’s the conflict between parents, which
is encouraged by our legal system which promotes profits and prolonging the divorce
process, rather than mediation.
Peace Out,
Angie Monko
