In order to know how to manage stress, first you need to know what it is and what causes it.

Stress is a physiological response which means you feel it in the body (tight muscles, upset stomach, headache, etc.). Stress is caused when you perceive that something is wrong about you or your current circumstances.

Your specific perception is the key determining factor of whether you’ll feel stressed about a situation. It’s not the situation.

At first this may seem incredulous. You may be thinking, “You’re telling me the external situation in my life is NOT making me stressed?”

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A beautiful woman sitting with her two arms on her knees. The words over the images are "Peace Begins Within You."

Peace Begins Within You

 

Recently over a two week period, $1,200 popped up from two unexpected sources, and I thought, “Oh that’s cool! The Universe is supporting me.”

The following week, I was told my car needed a $3,000 repair. A part of me thought, “Ugh! Here I thought I was being supported, and now this happened. It’s not safe to work hard because it will just be taken away. Why bother?”

The day before I’d begun doing a healing code on trust versus control. I soon realized, “Oh I am being tested!” It was clear that my whole life, I’d been giving away my power to things outside of me. I had a revelation: Peace only comes from within me. It’s truly not determined by outer events.

This may be common knowledge. However, just because I consciously knew that my truth begins within me didn’t mean that the information had taken the Grand Canyon gap voyage down to my heart. In other words, the information had not been converted into wisdom and my ability to practice the principle.

The Most Stressful Thought

 

“I am not safe to relax” is the most stressful thought to the human being. In order for your body to manage the stress of all of the ways life could go wrong, you need to find a way to feel safe and supported. You need to be able to filter out messages that don’t serve you and keep ones that do.

4 Mindful Leadership Strategies to Navigate Situations with Poise and Clarity

You and I have some very negative, critical voices that will derail our happiness, for the sake of safety.  Some people call these saboteurs. My bias is that all self-sabotage is misguided self-love.

How you decide to talk to yourself is important in shifting your energy and perceptions and releasing stress.  Most of the time these voices are not telling you the truth. They catastrophize and dramatize life. Everything is heavy and a cause for life or death.

How can you manage these voices and thus your stress?

The Journey Starts With Your Feelings

What are you feeling? Your feelings are the best barometer to know if you’ve been triggered. We ALL get swept back into a past, cellular response. Your body has a memory of everything that’s ever happened to you.

When this happens, you can feel out of control because you don’t know WHY you’re feeling the way you do.  For example, if someone you loved died during a certain time of year, your body can catapult to that time, filling you with grief. You’re not in charge of this “remembrance.”

Your feelings can act as the gateway to your freedom, rather than the entry point to suffering. Your feelings act as a red flag to do the following process:

    1. Once you recognize you’re feeling intense emotion, acknowledge it.
    2. Instead of getting angry at your inner child and/or one of your saboteurs for keeping you stuck and not allowing you to get what you want in your life, what if you spoke sweetly to it
    3. Hello sweetheart, I see you and hear you. I know you’re scared, sad, angry, etc.  I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I’m sorry you’re hurting. We will get this figured out.

    Your mind will constantly lie to you because it perceives life through a distorted lens. You can get mad at that part and call it a liar. That works too. However, I think it may be a more abrasive approach to change. I prefer the gentler approach above.

    Your mind will constantly lie to you because it perceives life through a distorted lens. You can get mad at that part and call it a liar. That works too. However, I think it may be a more abrasive approach to change. I prefer the gentler approach above.

    Even your most angry, critical parts are hurt and scared. But they are part of you. They deserve respect–yes your saboteurs deserve respect. That doesn’t mean you have to listen to them.

    It means you need to understand their origin–they simply want to keep you safe. Misguided Self-Love.

    “Of all the judgments that we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves, for that judgment touches the very center of our existence.” 

    Nathaniel Branden

    Conclusion

     

    You can powerfully manage stress by shifting your energy and/or state.

    Perhaps you have more control than you realize.  This control doesn’t come from controlling others or events. True control comes from being able to shift your reality lens despite what is happening outside of you.

    You are wired neurologically to survive and stay safe.  The thought “I am not safe” is very stressful to your body and mind. Think tiger chasing you.

    The way to begin to change this fearful pattern is to pay attention to your feelings. Use your feelings as a signal that something needs to shift within you. Instead of getting distracted by externals and thinking THEY need to change for you to feel OK, take back your power. 

    The more you practice this pattern interrupt, the sooner your brain and heart will sync up, and you’ll make new neural pathways and habits in alignment with your  true ambitions as a female leader.

    PS: Self Sabotage to Self Love for Female Life Coaches begins 2/28/24. During this 8 week course, we’ll do a deep dive into your saboteurs and help you reveal your inner Sage so you can have more income and impact.

    4 Mindful Leadership Strategies to Navigate Situations with Poise and Clarity
    I am passionate about helping female life coaches increase their income and impact. I’d be honored to support you (or someone you care about). LMK below if I can be of service to you or someone you care about.

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    Much Love,
    Angie Monko,
    Life Coach for Intuitive Women Leaders