These last two weeks, we’ve been discussing three tips to
confidently navigate divorce. Today we’ll focus on the #1 tip.

Tip #3) Get clear on WHY a divorce is being considered. 
I suggested that you dive deep into your heart and explore
WHY you want to divorce by journaling responses to various

Tip #2) Adapt an attitude of forgiveness and compassion for
yourself as you navigate this growth and healing journey.

It’s vital not to shame yourself or wonder if something is wrong
with you because the marriage is ending. Remember that it’s ending
because two people’s beliefs/values no longer mesh. It’s not
ONE person’s responsibility for how things are.

Tip #1) Be willing to ask for help.  Don’t do this alone.  This may sound
like a self-serving tip because I’m going to recommend your next
step is to work with me.

But it’s not. I truly want you to talk to someone who is objective
and not embroiled in your life. Friends and family can be very
helpful and supportive, but they are often so attached to either
not liking your partner or really liking them.

It’s not easy for them to tune out all the stories they’ve heard
over the years, and so their advice isn’t objective or wise because
they are too biased.

I did this alone, and I didn’t listen to my family members because
I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do.  That was a mistake
because this big decision was now left up to a fearful and traumatized
Angie who couldn’t make rational decisions
when her amygdala or
fight or flight response was being constantly triggered.

You’ve got so much to consider, and I want to be here for you as
you make this important decision. To stay, to leave, and how to feel
about yourself as you take the journey.

If you decide to stay in the marriage, I applaud you.  And you will
probably need help in healing yourself so that you can be the best
partner possible, the best mother possible, not perfect, not at all,
but YOUR best.  Schedule here for a complimentary 1 hour Loving
Self-Advocate Discovery Session.

If you decide to leave the marriage, I applaud you. The key is that
you feel good about the decision and you’ve gotten confident clarity.
Good job! You’ve thought it through and you’re ready to move
forward with the divorce.

It will be important for you to learn how to advocate for yourself and
your kids during this tumultuous and potentially traumatic time.

I’d like to recommend the next step be that you register for our
Divorcing Moms Retreat. Although there is no monetary investment,
it’s a one-day time investment, in which we recommend that you show
up, fully engaged, and ready to have these real conversations.

Just because it’s free doesn’t mean there is no value.  Quite the contrary.
What is clarity worth to you? What is peace of mind that you’ve thought this
through and are confident in your decision worth to you?

The idea of the retreat is to help you confidently navigate divorce
and keep your kids out of the middle while doing it.

The Divorcing Moms Retreat Will Empower you To:

  • Feel worthy and confident of asking for your fair share of child
    custody and assets.

  • Let go of the guilt that tells you what you are doing is bad/wrong
    and let go of the shame that tells you that you’re a failure.

  • Let go of the anger and resentment that tempts one to put their
    kids in the middle and harm them.

  • Make peace with the situation and create a new, vibrant chapter
    in your life and a new identity of what you are capable of.

The Divorcing Moms Retreat Will Teach You:

  • The various methodologies of the divorce process and which type
    is right for you.

  • How to find the right legal support (attorney/mediator/guardian ad litem).

  • How to find the right financial support and understanding your finances.


Angie Monko

PS: You deserve to get support as you go through this divorce.