When I love myself and really focus on that, it protects me
from grudges, resentments.
When I think of why I have held onto grudges and withheld
forgiveness this past week when I did a Forgiveness ceremony
with my mom and friend, Ruth, I ask myself how can I let go of
this and heal my wounded self or pain?
How can I release Chelsea and Maddie (daughter and late
daughter) pain with self love? Know I did the best I could when
raising them.
I was hurt and wounded myself and didn’t know better. “We
do what we know. If we know better, we do better typically.”
It’s important that we learn to love and accept ourselves and
give ourselves grace for our past. One thing that really helps me
to allow more self-love into my heart is to write a letter to myself
from my Higher Self. You can do the same from your version of
God, Universe, Nature, something bigger than you.
Chelsea (on left) and Maddie with puppy at Spoon River Drive craft fair
Dear Angie,
It’s OK. Please forgive yourself for how your story has
unfolded, giving custody of Maddie to her dad, feeling
inadequate as a mom to her, feeling insecure as a mom to
Chelsea because you couldn’t be everything she needed you
to be. Things happen in life to your character, but
who you really are can never be so troubled by trivial
matters, yes, even matters of your children.
You don’t own them. They come from the same
Source as you do. Their stories are unfolding too as
they are designed to. Angie didn’t create them. So
how can you be responsible for them?
Knowing this, it makes it much more palatable to forgive
yourself doesn’t it? I know you doubt this truth, but that
doesn’t change It.
The anti-dote to doubt is Truth and Love. Be in the present
moment with all that is. You are OK. You are Enough. You
are Lovable.
It’s best not to judge your self-worth or Essence on such
temporary things as your aging body and face, how much
money you make or don’t make, what people think of you,
how much you get done, and on anything external to who
you really are, your true Being-ness.
All these things are in a constant state of flux and mean
nothing really. What matters is YOUR ESSENCE, your Presence
and your Being-ness. What matters is how view Reality.
How clear is your lens through which you see Reality?
Nothing that is happening is bad or good. Just Be. Live
your WHY of “To love, give and serve with kindness and
humility,” and all of your needs and desires will be surpassed
because they really are no longer that important to Angie.
Forgive yourself. Forgive everyone 100% for any morsel of
resentment you hold. This is required. Non-negotiable.
Go forth and be free, joyous and present. Why not?
Your Higher Self
Do you see how loving yourself can bring about letting go
of what others think? Keep in mind this isn’t the same thing
as letting go of caring for others or wanting the best for them.
In fact, you can still CARE what others think and feel because
you are a caring person deep inside. It’s simply who you are.
But there is a different feel or quality to your caring. It’s more
real. It’s coming from a more sincere, less needy space from
within your heart.
Let me explain with the following scenario:
Your aging mother thinks she needs knee replacement surgery,
but you’d like her to try other alternatives before doing that.
You suggest some things, but she pushes back and doesn’t
seem interested.
Worried response: You get upset and feel threatened because
you’re worried about seeing her suffer and ultimately losing her.
Secure response: You drop the subject and only bring it back
up if she mentions it again.
I’m not suggesting this is easy; it is not. It feels like you are
losing control because you’re having faith in a bigger picture
to the story of your life.
You could start with smaller things to begin practicing how to
ease up on needing to control outcomes.
For me, I always like to confirm appointments with clients the
day before, but one client didn’t seem to confirm for whatever
reason. So we agreed I didn’t need her to confirm. I’d just assume
she would show up when scheduled.
It seems small, but it’s a step in the right direction. How can you
begin to loosen the reins of control on how others show up?
How would it feel to feel secure regardless of outcomes?
Comment below and let me know. I’d truly love to hear from you
and personally read each response.
Much Love,
Angie
Great blog Angie! I know I have trouble with a lot of what you said. My biggest is probably dealing with buyers of online goods when they dismiss me or stop communicating. I feel it is disrespectful and lacking courtesy which I was taught as a child to be courteous. So, it goes against my morals and what I feel is proper etiquette. It gets me quite upset, but, I am working on it with my tapping. Also, I love that picture of the girls with the puppy.
Job well done Angie! 🙂