Dear Friend,
Two weeks ago, I offered you a challenge to stop complaining, criticizing and gossiping for 21 days, in order to form a new habit. I started trying this myself on 10/18/11 and had a difficult week. I got into petty arguments with my family members, and my inner brat really threw a little tantrum. I was shocked at how immature I could be and how much I complained over silly stuff. I got my complaint free bracelet on 10/25, and it really helped me to see it on my wrist. It served as a reminder of my intention. On the same day, one week after attempting to not complain or criticize, I lost my voice. I believe subconsciously I thought it would be easier to not speak than to not complain or criticize.
I have strung together 2 days of no complaining. Currently I’m back on Day 1. Even though I lost my voice, I was much happier. I was now pouring my energy into a focused direction of positivity. It has been a wonderful technique for me! As of last Sunday, 10/30, my whole family is now taking on the challenge, not because I pressured them either. I think if you want to encourage others to do this, great, but don’t feel they must do it in order for you to be happy or successful at the challenge. The reason I love this practice is because it’s so easy to explain, and everyone gets it. Don’t verbally complain, criticize or gossip.
Before you dismiss this challenge and decide it’s too hard, I want you to consider why it is so very SELF-ish and GOOD for you. This challenge is meant to make you feel happy. Selfish, you say, Angie? If you tend to be on the selfish side and think of your desires and what makes you happy, then I say good for you! Others may criticize you for this, but don’t buy into it. As long as you aren’t hurting you or anyone else, and your intentions are to feel good and have fun, then go for it! If you decide to take this challenge with other people, be prepared for this aspect. You may become very aware of their complaints, and if they DON’T move their bracelet after complaining, it is very tempting to ask them to move it, or say, “Did you move your bracelet?” In fact, this was how one day I first complained.
My husband was having a difficult time at the computer, and I was having a hard time concentrating. I went over to the desk to get an envelope, and he continued to go on, and I thought, did he completely forget he’s wearing a purple bracelet, and so I said, “Did you forget to move your bracelet?” And of course, this only made him more angry. So I had to shift my bracelet. Be gentle with yourself as you go through this process. If you like to do everything perfectly, it may frustrate you to move your bracelet.
You may see it as a sign of failure or weakness. That’s just your ego talking. Be the observer of yourself and let it be okay. The key is to persist.
After a while, not too long from now, it will become easier, as it has for me. Don’t be surprised if you are at first shocked at how much you complain. If you want to be a perfectionist, then make being happy your perfectionist goal. You will get there with this challenge, but you must keep trying. Be selfish for the first time in your life perhaps, and really care about how you feel. Others’ opinions of you are none of your business.
PS: If you’re really serious about creating your most magnificent life, click on the attached to see if you qualify for a discovery session: https://www.harmonyharbor.com/discovery-session
Sending you much love and gratitude,
Angie Monko
314-422-6520
