I had a revelation this morning as I was lying in Goddess pose (knees and elbows open and out to the side) on my hammock while meditating.
I believe I have found the key to unlock the lifestyle of freedom that has been trying to get my attention
for years now.
My wise inner voice said, “Stop forcing others. This doesn’t give them the space to choose.”
My scared inner voice replied, “But if I don’t nudge them, they won’t take action and change. Then they’ll
fail and blame me. Then I’ll lose connection with them. I’ll feel like a failure and not good enough or lovable enough. I can’t let that happen!”
Wise voice: “They can’t harm you if you keep your heart open.”
So I started to go through the list of people in my mind who I felt disconnected with, disappointed in,
attacked by, not enough for, etc.
Probably the person I have the most conflict with is my husband because he feels the most safe, and yet
the least safe.
He’s the most safe because I know he loves me warts and all. He’s the least safe because he feels
comfortable unleashing his feelings/thoughts.
So I imagined he was talking to me, and I felt inadequate as a wife, mother, business owner, for whatever reason, BUT THIS TIME, instead of defending myself and telling him how much I had on my plate and why he should back off and feel sorry for me, I OPENED MY HEART AND REALIZED I CAN’T BE HURT BY ANYBODY IF I ALREADY KNOW I’M ENOUGH!
The natural response is to close my heart when I feel attacked, demeaned, criticized, judged.
BUT WHAT IF I stayed open no matter what?
What if I stayed centered in love in the present moment no matter what was going on around me?
I should certainly have plenty of opportunities to practice love where love doesn’t seem to abide.
There are many folks suffering in silence. They lash out, keep it all in, and sometimes even take
their own lives, when it all seems to be too much…
God is leading me on a very scary journey, and some days I definitely don’t feel up to the challenge.
It’s NOT a journey of enlightenment or perfection. It IS a journey of being REAL, being myself. It is NOT a journey of trying to control everyone or everything. It IS a journey of surrender.
You may not like or love me, and today, what I deeply realized is: that’s okay. I intend to LOVE
YOU ANYWAY. I’ve decided today that I will live with my heart wide open even when, especially
when, it terrifies me.
I lovingly invite you to my next free event, in which I’ll be offering you the next step to take
to continue this journey with me.
In Loving Service,
Angie
