We all run stories in our heads fueled by emotions.
One of those stories, for me, when I look at the character
of Angie, is that life is hard, specifically attaining certain
It seems that when I really want something, and try
hard to get it (often most of the “trying” is up in my head),
accomplishing THAT THING alludes me.
Two Things Escape Me
There are two things namely that escape me, a 20
pound weight loss and creating a certain income goal
consistently with my life coaching business.
I recently wrote about how I took a close look to see
if I REALLY wanted a thing, if I still don’t have it. For example,
with weight loss, I had to admit that I couldn’t stir up
enough desire for what it takes to modify my eating/moving/
thought habits enough to release the 20 pounds.
And being overweight and earning what I earn hasn’t been
painful enough for me to put the required effort in to get the
new, sustained results. No shame here anymore. That is progress.
I have landed on an idea that makes it pretty intriguing for
me to at least get curious about what it would feel like to release
the weight and make the desired income goal consistently.
And that idea is that there is a block within me that keeps
me stuck in my comfort zone, not realizing my potential.
And that DOES bother me. I’m all about growth and evolution
of human consciousness.
Yet I’m dumbing down my own growth by not tackling the
food addiction/income creation problem, and they ARE related.
The good news is that I believe I’ve found a way to attain these
goals without much effort. Sounds too good to be true, huh?
The answer is that I must shift my starting point energy FIRST,
before taking any action on them, before changing my diet,
my marketing plan, etc.
The way I’ve been showing up in life (as far as on the negative
side) is to be serious, insecure as far as not feeling like I’m
enough, and overly responsible for others’ lives.
If I’m going to get a different result, I need to come from an
empowerment energy (LOVE) before pursuing my goals, rather
from a victim energy (FEAR).
Can you relate to this? Think of how you’ve been making life
an uphill battle. Has a goal that you’ve stated is important to
you been alluding you?
Think about the energy you bring to the table before you
”get serious” about attaining the goal. Is it fear-based or
How can we change this energy? We have to get to the root
of our insecurities. What causes us the most suffering?
1) Identify the root of our suffering: I realized that I have shown
up as serious, insecure and overly responsible.
2) Identify what energy or feelings we want to experience.
These are often the opposite of our suffering attributes.
For me the opposite of serious, insecure and overly responsible
are lighter, secure and free.
It took me some deep introspection to arrive at the
desired attributes. I had to ask WHY am I this way? How has
it been serving me?
For example, WHY am I insecure? Because I feel like I’m not
enough, and my self-worth seems to rely on things outside of
me happening (what others do or say), how much I weigh or
how much I make.
I feel insecure when I base my worth off of things I don’t control
like other people and/or a number.
Why am I overly responsible? To keep myself safe from harm
and disappointment by losing people I love. So I try to get them
to take care of themselves in order for ME to safer and in control.
If I could no longer feel the need to be in control, but relaxed
and trusted life, me and others, I’d feel FREE to be me, to let
others be them, and for life to be life.
In order to transform, I mentioned we have to upgrade the
energy first or all subsequent action will be fruitless, at least
in the long run, which is what really matters.
If you knew your actions would lead to regaining the weight,
no change in income, or no change in your relationship, etc.,
would you still do them? Probably not.
If we aren’t willing to sacrifice how our current way of being is
serving us, instead of taking uphill action with no results,
wouldn’t our time be better served by shifting our energy into
acceptance of who we are right now?
If, on the other hand, we are willing to sacrifice something
right now with how we are showing up, then chances are
we WILL get the result.
To stop taking over-responsibility, for example, I need to
be willing to sacrifice the benefit of feeling in control in order
to attain my desired new energy of freedom. We have to pay
a price for freedom or any other upgrade in identity. It isn’t free.
Let’s talk if you are wanting to create better relationships,
deeper connection, a better experience of life that have the
possibility of taking root far into your future.
Reply to this email and let’s see if we are a good match.
PS: Morgan Higdon, my partner, just had her son, August, two
months ago. Since Morgan wants to be “all in” with her energy for this
special event, we’ve decided to push the women’s retreat
two months out, to the last weekend of August, rather than
June. So please adjust your calendar and look for a new registration
link in next week’s email.