June 19th is Father’s Day, a day to celebrate our Dads, Pops, Fathers or whatever you call the “father figure” in your life (I’ll call this person Dad). This day can bring up a lot of emotions for many of us. Perhaps you didn’t have the best relationship with your Dad, as I didn’t. Maybe your Dad was neglectful, emotionally unavailable or abusive to you, your siblings or your Mom. Or maybe you were fortunate enough to have a loving connection with your Dad. Maybe your Dad has passed on to another realm.
Maybe you have never even met your Dad. Whatever the case may be, your Dad has played an important role in defining who you are today.
On June 9th of this year, my step dad passed away rather suddenly at the age of 72. He’d been diagnosed with cancer only three weeks earlier and had started taking chemotherapy. Unfortunately, his body wasn’t strong enough to sustain the treatment. I would like to dedicate this newsletter to my step dad, Rich. He meant the world to me. He’d known me since I was born, and he and my Mom had been together for thirty years, married for almost twenty-nine years. Rich had been in my life consistently since I was eleven years old. Rich had always been there for me.
He provided my family with a beautiful home in the country, surrounded by trees. He’d been so good to my Mom, which meant a lot to me, especially after my Mom had been in such a difficult marriage to my Dad. He’d take me, my Mom and older brother on vacation to places like Tennessee, Arkansas, the Ozarks, Florida. He was truly a great man, and everyone loved his calm nature, sense of humor and integrity. Rich was an even better Grandpa. We’d go to my Mom and Rich’s every year for the last fifteen years for my daughter’s birthday weekend in April and my birthday weekend in September. Rich would hitch a hay-filled wagon to the back of a four-wheeler and drive the girls through paths in the woods.
He’d pretend the four-wheeler had stopped working and turn out all the lights. You could hear the girls’ screams of delightful fright far off into the night. He’d make us bonfires, and we’d sit around the fire and make smores, while telling spooky stories. One year when the girls were probably three and four, Rich sneaked into the room, where we were celebrating a birthday, wearing a Halloween mask, and the girls
went berserk. Then during the winter after a nice snow, Rich would put a sled behind the four-wheeler and again my two daughters and two nieces would pack tightly onto the sled while Rich would run figure eights around trees and circle their big yard and beyond. Rich always built people up and saw the best in them, like he did in my husband, Steve.
This meant so much to Steve since he didn’t have many people to look beyond his faults and see his true potential. We and so many others will miss Rich. Here’s to a wonderful Dad, Grandpa, husband and friend in Rich Pike! No matter what your current relationship is with your Dad, or even if he has passed on, if you harbor any resentment toward him, I encourage you to let it go. Forgive him for being imperfect.
He did the best he could given his belief system and upbringing. Forgive yourself for needing his love and approval and know that your love comes from within. Many of us, subconsciously, compare our view of Dad to what God must be like.
If this definition of God doesn’t serve you, then change your definition of God. You’ve probably heard the phrase, the Father is within you. This means that the essence of your true nature (Love, Wholeness, Perfection) comes from within. God lives within you. If you are hurting, ask God (or however you define a power beyond you) to show you how to think today about your Dad or whatever brings you suffering. You never know how long your Dad will be around, just as in the case of Rich. Seize the day. Live in the moment and tell your Dad you love him. What does your Dad mean to you?
If the story you’ve been telling yourself hurts you, then change the story. Change it to a story which allows you to find peace within yourself.
Happy Father’s Day to all you father figures!
PS: If you’re really serious about creating your most magnificent life, click on the attached to see if you qualify for a discovery session: https://www.harmonyharbor.com/discovery-session
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Peace and Blessings,
Creating Change That Lasts