Hi fellow seekers,
Lately I’ve been feeling anxious about lack of time. Logically, I know this stems from feeling like I’m not enough, but in my heart, I don’t really get this. I feel as if I don’t have enough time to relax and re-charge my battery. I’m the type of person who needs to accomplish much to feel like I deserve to have fun.
Unfortunately, the more that is piled on my plate, the more I try to do, leaving me less time to pamper myself. I’m not trying to complain right now. I’m just trying to expose this illusion to the light of understanding. The fact is that I observe myself in this lunacy. I show up in life by being busy and often lately not having enough time to really enjoy myself. Then I feel guilty because I don’t make as much time for my husband and two daughters as I feel I should. Then the guilt settles in. You may have heard that when the joy leaves, the flow leaves, that is, the flow of life, of love, of prosperity.
So what is the answer to this? I’ve been doing some tapping on this and that I choose to be willing to live in the expanded awareness of the present moment. I’ve lived this habit for so long that it will take some time to remember who I really am. It is an illusion that there isn’t enough time, one designed to keep me stuck in my smallness. So as I keep exposing this to light and love, I remember that who I really am is a Divine being with infinite time. I keep asking to be willing to surrender this need to control time to Source.
I haven’t figured out the answer to this yet or how exactly to live in the present moment. If that came in a bottle, I’d be rich. I continue to meditate and pray and ask God for help. If anyone has any feedback, I’d love to hear it. One other thought. Right now is a difficult time in human consciousness with the diasaster in Haiti. We are impacted by everyone’s pain and suffering. We may ALL be feeling more depressed and anxious without knowing why.
I’ve been saying a prayer of protection these last few days, basically asking to be surrounded by love, light and truth.
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Have a blessed day!