Are You A Woman Leader?
We don’t have to be a Millicent Fawcett to have great impact. The basic premise of good leadership is that when we respect ourselves by taking good care of us, we will extend this benefit to all.
It’s not a selfish stance. When someone says we are being “selfish,” it’s a form of manipulation to get us to do things their way. Note: we should try to stay open-minded to other ways without betraying ourselves. See below for some attributes of a woman leader.
My Defintion of a Woman Leader is Someone Who Believes:
- I respect myself and treat each human being with respect, dignity and sovereignty.
- I don’t control what others think of me, and therefore, I let go of trying to control this.
She Will Please Until She Resents Giving
- I really care about people and do my best to have a positive impact.
- I draw a line of having a positive impact if it means betraying myself.
- I will comply with what’s being asked of me if it makes sense to my moral compass.
She Will Break the Cycle of Codependency
- I will NOT comply if it “feels wrong” and goes against my intuition.
- I am willing to break the cycle of codependency and people-pleasing to gain approval.
- I question the norm and am interested in elevating the level of consciousness of our society.
She Sees Beyond Labels
- I respect each person’s right to decide how to live their life (so long as I’m not harming anyone else; and I decide what “harm” is)
- I push back against bullying behavior regardless of the source.
- I see beyond the labels that society would put upon me to enslave me to a disfunctional system or model.
She Thinks for Herself
- I am NOT easily captivated by hypnotic programming from TV, media, peer pressure, etc.
- I think for herself, gaining confidence from a connection to a Higher Power however I define it.
How Does The Woman Leader Become A People Pleaser?
Childhood Beliefs Taught Her To Hyper-Achieve To Be Acceptable
Childhood Beliefs Taught Girls To Please & Appease
She Was Taught To Be Pretty, Thin, and Not Too Smart
She Was Taught To Be The Strong One
She Was Traumatized
The Taming oF Tabitha
Tabitha Learned TO be Silent And Compliant and She Hated It
How The Woman Leader Can Reclaim Her Power From People Pleasing
Feel safe in her body and trust her judgment
Find a safe space where she can drop her “gotta be strong all of the time” guard
Look at her hidden grief
Use techniques that address her as an energetic being
Do NOT expect to be rescued or advised
What Does The Woman Leader REALLY Want?
What is Available to the Woman Leader When She Stops People Pleasing
- Live with calm aliveness, feeling safe on this planet.
- Feel congruent with how she spends her time, prioritizing who and what matters most to her.
- Eat real food, that nourishes her cells.
- Release the shame of not feeling good enough–it requires a lot of energy to cover it up.
- Drink good water, (OK an occasional glass of well-sourced wine–Scout and Cellar wink wink).
- Feel like the apple of her lover’s eye, supported, nurtured and adored.
- Feel the backing of a few close friends who love her unconditionally.
- Feel comfortable in her own body, allowing pleasure and letting go of guilt.
- Receive plenty of money to cover all of her needs and even some delicious wants.
- Feel like she’s enough no matter how much is left on that mile-long to-do list.