Welcome to a series of blogs I’ll write on Tuesdays, in which I’ll outline the nine attributes of a Worthy Self-Advocate. How will you benefit? My hope is that you will take the ideas/concepts and drop them down into implementation or wisdom so you can boldly create a fulfilling life without apology by loving and accepting yourself.
If you’re not doing what you want in life or being the person you want to be, then more acceptance, love and forgiveness of self is needed. Only THEN can we extend these same behaviors to others.
So what is a Worthy Self-Advocate or WSA? This person gives themselves the benefit of the doubt when things go wrong, not to make excuses for themselves, but to be compassionate and understanding that sometimes life doesn’t go as planned.
They open their heart to themselves and others even when they’re afraid of rejection. They are gentle but firm with the less desirable parts of themselves.
Example: Let’s say Jackie is notoriously late to everything. She decides that she wants to live in more integrity and be on time. So for the next 3 commitments, she shows up on time, but for the 4th appointment, she is 10 minutes late.
How would a WSA respond to herself? It’s all about having healthy self-talk:
“OK, so you didn’t uphold this commitment to yourself to live in more integrity by being on time. New habits can sometimes be hard to start. Are you sure you’re ready to change this aspect of your behavior? How will you benefit if you do? I’ll have more faith, confidence, and trust in myself which will lead to ealthier, happier relationships!
What’s the downside of making this change? It puts pressure on me to change, increases my personal responsibility, which increases my risk of failure, looking foolish, and being embarrassed.
So is this change worth it? I don’t know if I can handle the pressure. Makes me nervous. You can handle much more than you know. You have to keep trying. Never give up on yourself. How about taking one
appointment at a time?
Commit to that one thing? Give it your best shot, and if you fall short, promise to forgive yourself and try again until you’ve established a habit. Be patient but firm with yourself. Changing a habit requires a
steady patience with yourself.
By firm, I mean having the willingness to get back up and try again, which takes persistence and faith. So what do you say? Are you up for this? You CAN do this!”
As I delve into the nine attributes of a WSA, you’ll get more and more clarity about how a WSA lives. There are 4 common through lines.
1) They live in the gray zone of life and don’t see things rigidly as black or white. In other words, they are open-minded and respectful of others’ views and beliefs even if they don’t agree with them.
2) They practice self-honesty. They are authentic and real, willing to feel their feelings, and share what they think, feel, need and desire without apology, guilt or shame. They don’t see a need to play games with them- selves or others.
3) They practice self-commitment. They are gentle but firm with themselves and know that inner transformation is a journey that requires patience, persistence, and good self-care along the way. They always encourage themselves despite setbacks in order to create new habits of thought and
action.
4) They practice self-responsibility. They take ownership of where they’re at, are willing to question their beliefs, grow, and release harsh judgments for where they’re at so they can be happy, accepting, and fulfilled.
So be on the lookout these next 9 weeks for a discussion of the 9 WSA attributes. I’ll provide a mini call-to-action each week to help you implement the wisdom.
In the mean time, let these core through lines sink into your awareness. How do you show up for yourself, on a scale of 0 to 10? Rate where you’re at without judgment.
