My husband, Steve, and I just got back from a wonderful
vacation to Tennessee. It was slow-paced at a beautiful
resort. We were surrounded by woods. Our condo was
spacious, with a fireplace and huge hot tub.
We enjoyed connecting through deep conversation,
wine, watching movies, playing cards, and just purely relaxing.
We also got to spend some time with good friends. We
enjoyed Mexican food and got that twice!
My Wound Bumped Up Against His
At one point, I was checking an email about my adopted
African elephant, Nabulu, and I was frustrated that I
couldn’t download a picture of her. So I asked Steve to
see if he could help me out.
He didn’t reply and so I looked at him to see if he’d heard
me. He said he was just testing me to see how I liked it.
”What are you talking about?” I asked.
He said he’d just been talking to me and I had ignored
him. I was incredulous. I had been hyper focused on
figuring out a technology issue and simply did not hear
When I explained this, he didn’t believe me, and that
made me even angrier. Now I was feeling unjustly accused,
one of my core wounds.
My wound bumped up against one of his, feeling ignored.
Yikes! I had to get out of the place, and so I left to go
work out. What made this more painful was that we had felt so
connected, and the contrast made our disconnection
that much more drastic.
After I had a little space alone to reflect and release my
emotions, it was evident that my wound had touched his.
Our Wounds Are Hidden
Our wounds are not evident to us. They are hidden, as if
below the ocean bedrock. The only way we know they exist
is how we react, get triggered, and feel.
What can we do about this? Accept it. Make peace with it
for starts. Then the daily practice becomes accepting
ourselves where we are because guilt and shame won’t
bring about change.
One of the best ways I know to accept ourselves is to
allow and FEEL the full range of emotions. We can keep
running from our feelings, but there is such a huge
storehouse of power locked up in them that it would be
worth our time to feel them.
We Have to Feel to Heal
We have to feel to heal, after all. I don’t want to continue
to have my wounds exposed and cause conflicts with those
I love. Do you?
If you want to talk, I’m here. Schedule a Feel to Heal strategy
session with me. Reply to this email and let’s set a time.