My daughter, Maddie, wrote the below article. I can see she’s come a very long way over the last couple of years. She is very right, that life is not about doing things perfectly, but by appreciating our progress and evolution. I hear so much more maturity and humility in her now.
“Have you ever thought you’ve forgiven someone or healed something in your life, but then something triggers you and you realize you haven’t? Throughout my life I’ve had this happen a lot. I haven’t written one of these newsletters in about two years, but I remember talking about my breakthroughs and saying I’d finally healed the relationship with my dad or I’d finally figured out how to love myself…
I have always believed that life was a destination, and that I was just going to arrive one day and be completely healed. I’ve come to realize that life is much different than that. Life is a journey, but instead of arriving and becoming “perfect” as I once thought, we learn and keep learning and growing until we die. Then we start over again and keep learning. It’s pretty much a never ending process.
I’m not saying it’s never going to get easier. In my eyes we are all like onions, we heal in layers. So if we thought we healed something and it comes back up, it’s probably just a deeper layer that is ready to be healed. Something that’s made a big impact in my life is knowing that I don’t have to be perfect and
that I’m human and doing the best I can in that moment. Have I completely healed the relationship
with my Dad? No, but we are doing ten times better than we have been in the past. I’m actually
going to go see him in Pennsylvania for the whole month of May, having not seen him in almost
two years.
Has my Dad necessarily changed? No, but that doesn’t matter because I have. When I go up
there, we may still fight because we are only human, but this time around my responses will be
different since I have done a lot of deep healing work on myself. I know it won’t be perfect, but that’s
okay. I fully accept that. When it comes to the relationship I have with my body, that’s also improved. Last summer I was depressed and wasn’t taking care of my mind or body. Now I nourish my body and I try my best to make choices that empower me.
Do I still have days where I eat sugar or fried food? Yes I do. Do I still sometimes reject myself, and my body image issues come up? Yes, but every day I remind myself that I’m doing the best I can, and even though I may not be completely healed, I know I’m improving. So instead of being so hard on myself and feeling sorry for myself every time I cough (due to having cystic fibrosis), I sit back and look at all of my accomplishments and progress and think of each cough as an opportunity to clear my lungs. Sometimes we just have to trust that the universe has our back and we are exactly where we’re supposed to be. Remember, be nice to you! I think we all deserve that, don’t you?”
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To Our Transformation,
Angie Monko
